Diane Sawyer is My Homegirl

My Hero

Election night, I was instructed by a friend to watch ABC’s coverage, her directive was simple: “Turn to ABC, Diane Sawyer is drunk as a skunk.”

I obliged and am SO glad I did! America was treated to the sassy and sizzlin’ Ms. Sawyer clearly f*cked up on something. She slurred, rambled, giggled and tossed her mane of cornsilken magic. Booze, our go to friend…was the #1 suspect.

In what can only be described as a golden gift from the Television Gods, Radar Online dug up raw television feed from ages ago. In the video you see Sawyer chug wine and pop pills. She actually uses the wine to down to prescription pillsI need no further proof: Diane Sawyer is truly our sister from another mister.

Watch the always gorgeous Diane show the world how it’s really done below…

(Note: Only watch through 1:55…turns into static image/fuzz afterwards)

Skank rolls hard. The glass of wine she’s gulping is large and in charge. Believe it or not, her glass has 3 standard servings of wine in it.

How do I know? Because that’s the very same size of chalice I use, and I never waste my time with anything but filling it to the brim. Spoiler alert: It only takes 2 of these babies to equal a WHOLE bottle.

My favorite part of the entire clip occurs at the 1:33 Mark, when a lubed up (half of her jumbo wine glass is gone by then) Sawyer says something about a mystery famous person: “Too bad she’s crazy.” She then makes a drinking motion and pantomimes snorting Cocaine through both nostrils.

All I want for Christmas is to know who she was referring to.

Seriously, I’m sure we can piece it together through context clues and the internet. What say you world? Help me figure out whose nostrils she was pretending to fill with coke.

Oh Mrs. Mike Nichols! You truly are an inspiration!

You’re beautiful, brilliant, and a pill popping drunk who talks mad sh*t about people when they aren’t around…CELEBRITIES ARE JUST LIKE US!!!!!!

A toast to the toasted!

via Jezebel

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