The Biggest Flaming Cowboy, Ever

I quit this b*tch. – Big Tex

If you are from Texas you know of our State Fair located each fall in Dallas and its famous “Mascot,” a 52 foot Cowboy named, Big Tex.

Well, Tex went up to that great big Dude Ranch in the sky this morning, ho burst into flames and was reduced to a skeletal frame.

It burns.

While I’m sure all you Dallas-Ft. Worth folks reading this have a case of the sads, allow your old pal, the Crib Keeper to lift your spirits with some hilarious facts…

1. Big Tex was wearing Dickies brand clothing at the time of his fiery death, you can be sure the emergency responders uttered the term: “his Dickies are on fire!”

2. The jerk from your sales department is going to use this as an excuse to dust off all his 7-year-old “Brokeback Mountain,” jokes.

3. Troy Aikman is furious this fine Friday, because he’s no longer Dallas’ most flaming Cowboy.

Gurl, please!

Rest in Peace, Big Tex. I hope you’re gobbling Corn Dogs with Jesus, now.

(Thanks, Austin!)


The Biggest Flaming Cowboy, Ever — 6 Comments

  1. His charred remains will be cut into small pieces, dipped in batter, deep fried, and sold at the 2013 Texas State Fair. And these “Lil’ Tex Dunkers” will be delicious.

    (and please note that I stayed in my 3-point stance. Never flinched. You didn’t draw me off sides with the Troy shot 🙂

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