Tater Peelin’ Tuesday: Tricked Out Orthopedics!

Well, Crap.

Tricked Out Orthopedics

 (That’s How The Tater Rolls…well, that and a very sensible mini-van)

The ‘Tater is not only willing to tackle making yum-yums on a shoe-string budget in the kitchen, but I have also been known to turn out a few crazy craft projects in my day. This is a story about the wildest and craziest craft medium I have ever managed to work with…… orthopedic devices. And in the immortal words of my box office hero, Mrs. Ouiser Boudreaux, “I think… there’s a story there.”

I may have mentioned it before, but I will say it again. I have been blessed with a loving husband who allows me to use him as guinea pig for my kitchen experiments, and two beautiful little spuds whom I lovingly refer to as “Sister Sparkles” and “Brother Bear.” In this installment of Tater Peelin’ Tuesdays, you’ll see what happens when Sister Sparkles busts it big time and ends up in crutches. I wrote a story about it…. like to hear it? Here it goes:

Sparkles are forever.

Last Thursday, my Sister Sparkles was jumping on the trampoline after school. She was showing her Uncle just in from out-of-town, we shall call him Uncle Prime because of his love of all things Transformer, some of her very best and most flamboyant moves. She over did it, as most ‘sparkly’ people do, and broke/dislocated her ankle. I knew something was wrong when she hobbled in the door crying, nay…. wailing with her arm over her head very much the typical wounded but ever demure Southern belle. I went through my typical disaster questionnaire because the ‘Tater doesn’t get excited of just anything. The question included: ( I realize that perhaps these questions do lack finesse and empathy however, they normally get the job done in record time)

1) are you bleeding?

2) has anyone expired over this disaster?

3) is anything broken?

Imagine my surprise when she actually answered yes to the last question! ***That NEVER happens around here! Usually, in true no-nonsense Tater fashion, my kids know not to take the dramatics too far. So off we go to the E.R. After a few hours of entertaining the ER staff with her ferocious personality, a little soft serve from the nearest ice cream joint and some “super ugly crutches” (according to Sister Sparkles) we head home for the weekend and await our long list of follow-up appointments for the coming week.

Something sparkly happened over the weekend as we awaited our orthopedic fate. She decided that those ugly crutches HAD to go! After some fast talking and eyelash batting, her MiMi (also terribly sparkly in fashion sense as well as personality) took her shopping for the most loved of all practical products……….. DUCT TAPE. Did you know that duct tape now comes in a variety of patterns and colors? All of our crafty trailer park dreams have been answered!!!!

Stuck on Classy

Armed with three rolls of industrial strength, super tacky (and i don’t mean sticky-ness) duct tape, the crutches were re-covered and now more resemble our precious Sister Sparkles.

Shine on, Sister Sparkle!

Our arrival at the follow-up appointments this morning was met with quite a big of fanfare over how precious her tricked out crutches were. Her temporary cast was replaced with a permanent HAWT PINK one, and the ‘Tater was the first to sign!

We have our instructions on how to walk, what to wear, etc. (no skinny jeans….. she was devastated over this one) and a reminder to come back in 4 weeks for a re-evaluation. All is well in the land of ‘Taters for now, but there is left over duct tape, so stay tuned for duct tape Halloween costumes, thanksgiving place mats, Christmas ornaments…. etc.

-Tater Peelin’ Mama


Tater Peelin’ Tuesday: Tricked Out Orthopedics! — 2 Comments

  1. I have a few students on crutches this year. One thing they’ve done is cover up those unsightly and uncomfortable cushions at the top with the mini pillow pets. They just Velcro on and then they’re washable. One of the senior boys has a unicorn under one arm and a zebra under the other. They say it makes them more comfortable. It’s also fairly hilarious.

  2. Pingback: Tater Peelin’ Tuesday: Breakfast For Supper, Because I’m just. That. Far. Behind. | grouchymuffin

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