Give Me A Break, Pizza Hut

Say Whaaaat!?

Anyway you slice it, Pizza Hut is an American company. Founded in the states, the chain of questionable quality pizza pies is a brand synonymous with the good ol’ US of A.

You’d think a business that was made with the American dollar would have a shred of loyalty to the ample bottoms that built it. But no, time and time again the company has chosen to give the best stuff to those lucky customers in the Middle East. INJUSTICE!

First, it was the Hot Dog Pizza. (NOT AVAILABLE IN AMERICA)

Then, it was the Cheese Burger Pizza. (NOT FOR SALE IN THE UNITED STATES)

Monday, they leaked the Cone Pizza. (NEVER TO BE PEDDLED IN THE USA)

And today I come to you with evidence of Pizza Hut’s greatest betrayal. You’re gonna want to grab abox of kleenex and wrap up in an American flag Snuggie before you continue reading.

It is with great sorrow I introduce the ONLY AVAILABLE IN THE MIDDLE EAST, Kit Kat Pops.

You gotta be kidding me.

Kit Kat Pops are exactly what you think they are: Kit Kats wrapped in sweetened pizza dough and then baked to warm gooey perfection.

Once again, I will remind you, they aren’t available in the United States.

F*ck you, Pizza Hut.

You’ve taken America’s #1 Wafer-related Chocolate confection (Sorry, Little Debbie Nutty Bars) wrapped in America’s #1 Crappy Pizza Dough added sugar and baked it into one heartbreaking amalgamation of betrayal.

Pizza Hut, you really broke it off this time.

 Middle Eastern Kit Kat Pops are the last straw. Pizza Hut is an unfaithful a-hole who saves all the good loving for other countries! I quit this relationship.

I’m taking my Kit Kats elsewhere and never making out with a stuffed crust pizza again. Proud Americans, I urge you to join me.

That being said, I’d love to have some of whatever the Research and Development team at Pizza Hut Middle East are obviously on. You know it’s gotta be the good shiz! I mean look at this!



Give Me A Break, Pizza Hut — 1 Comment

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