Party (in the USA) of one.
As a life-long hedonist, there are many things in this world that bring me joy and unbridled pleasure. But few things match the happiness that laughing at horrible tattoos gives me.
Case in point, I used to live next door to the trashiest teenage girl. Skank had ink all-over by the time she was 15. One morning, as I was heading out to my car, I decided to do what any a-hole who loves watching others make terrible decisions does, I complemented her latest tattoo. If memory serves me correctly, it was a screaming skull on the side of her ribcage. I saw her new ink because at 8am homegurl was already outside in a mid-drift, smoking a cigarette and swigging a “tall boy.”
“Love the skull tattoo,” I said lied.
“Thank you! I got it the same day I did THIS one!”
Neighbor-girl then lowered her top and revealed a HUGE script tattoo written across her cleavage. It read, “Live each as your last.”
Hmmm…Last time I checked, the quote was “Live each day as if it were your last.” Of course, I didn’t say a word other than an obligatory, “oooh, neat!” And only when I was safely out of the subdivision did I began guffawing at her gaffe.
Which brings me to today’s post, while surfing the internets for tomfoolery, I came across this collection of TURRIBLE music tattoos.
Gather ’round and enjoy laughing at people who are forever paying tribute to musicians and bands by making awful body art choices!
(I’ll provide the names because some of these are virtually unrecognizable!)
First up, Here’s HANSON! Looking every inch the pedophiles in these portraits:
Mmmstop!
Because Everyone knows Avril Lavigne’s creepy doll-eyes need a forever tribute:
She’s come for your soul.
Then there’s a tatt of Adam Duritz, lead singer for the seminal Dad-rock band, Counting Crows:
Pretty sure he was drunk as f*ck when he chose to go with Durwitz.
Nothing like a tattoo of Creepy Old Bob Dylan to say, “I’m never having sex again!”
Bob Dylan, or VINCENT PRICE!?
Someone should give this person their moneyback:
Look at this photograph, it’s hideous.
Hank Williams Jr. ‘Nuff said.
“Are you ready for some laser removal!?”
Because the last two things a person wants to see written above a lady’s nether-regions are “Papa” and “Roach.”
She’s not gonna be able to stomach this one after a coupla kids.
I’m told this is supposed to be Dave Matthews. On someone’s foot, no less…
You thought her feet stank before!
Phil Collins:
Lyrics to Sussudio would’ve been cooler.
Ted Nugent AKA “The Nooge” AAKA “Uncle Ted:”
Skin-scratch fevah!
Clay “I’m aching for” Aiken:
BREATHTAKING!
Crappy Justin Bieber caricature:
Looks like someone lost a bet!
And finally, FRED DURST, Lead singer of the 90′s musical abortion, Limp Bizkit!
Cookies before nookie.
SO What about YOU my darlings? What’s the worst tattoo you’ve ever witnessed? Did your college roomie have a frog on her inner thigh that said, “Rubbit?’ Or perhaps Memaw has a Larry the Cable Guy “Get-R-Done” tatt? Whatever the situation or artwork, I’m dying to hear all about them!
There is this train wreck of a person that I was unlucky enough to met a few years ago. She was my sister’s friend’s mom, got that? Ok, she has a “tramp stamp” that reads: My Sh*t’s on Fire. AND it had florescent orange color in the mix (Idk know why that makes it worse, just does). Um yea, lady that sounds like you constantly chase Doritos Locos Tacos with a funnel of Popov, and also decided to label the part of your body from which they exit. Obviously it was supposed to be a statement confirming that she was SEXY. Classic…err, I mean Classy!
OMG! To be a scab on that buttcrack!
Phil Collins!?!? I can feel who’s NOT coming in the air tonight. Hold on.
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