Great White Hope This is True

Greetings my fine friends. Today is a weekly holiday at grouchymuffin, it’s TUES-the-Extreme Day! No matter who you are and what you’ve got going on today, I urge you to find time to LIVE IN THE EXTREME!

Binge drinking, bungee jumping, compulsive organizing, rollerblading or public nudity, it makes no difference what shenanigans you get into, AS LONG AS YOU ARE EXTREME!

This Tues-the-Extreme Day, I have one heckuva tale to tell. It’s all about an unexpected friendship that will warm even the most cold-blooded fish’s heart.

Me friendly!

Fisherman Toakai Teitoi, is lucky to be alive.

Toakai and his brother-in-law set out on a 2 hour trip to their home island Maiana, in the Republic of Kiribati. The two men fell asleep and when they awoke, the boat was away from any visible land and almost out of fuel. Well, all that happened BACK IN MAY.

Last week, Teitoi was spotted and rescued by a fishing boat. He had managed to sustain himself on fish and rainwater.

Sadly, his brother in law’s health failed and he passed away from dehydration on July 4th. (Full disclosure: It gave me the sads to learn Teitoi left his brother’s body in the boat the night he died and slept next to him as a makeshift funeral, before he buried him at sea.)

Dude rescued after living adrift for 3.5 months?! This story would be remarkable if I stopped right here. But as the old saying goes, “Wait! There’s more…”

Toakai credits a shark with saving his life by pushing him into view of the boat that ended up picking him up.

Last Tuesday afternoon, he was waking up from a nap when he noticed a shark circling his boat. The shark began bumping the hull and continued to do so until Mr. Teitoi noticed a fishing ship in the distance with a crew staring at him through binoculars. Once the stranded man made contact with the rescuers, the shark swam away.

Sharks pulling a Lassie!? My heart is going to explode!

..and I’m Adorbz!

Could it be that this poor man was delusional from the sun? He just awoke from a nap, perhaps he was still dreaming? Or maybe this shark was merely looking for an easy meal? Sure, all are far more probable than the thought of a lonely castaway becoming “bros for life” with a shark, but I’m gonna go with him on this one.

 FINALLY a sea creature to knock those a-hole dolphins off their high and mighty pedestals.

F*ck you, dolphins.

To the shark that saved this man living on rain and raw fishguts, I say: THANK YOU FOR BEING A FRIEND!

So remember, if you’re ever adrift in the ocean for months on end and a shark starts circling YOUR boat, he’s just trying to be friendly! Why not stick your head over the side of the hull and say, “Hi Friend!”

Side Note: I fully expect the Megalodon (who still lurks in our oceans) to swim right up to my boat and give me a hi-five with his massive fin when I finally rediscover the long-believed to be extinct Lord of The Deep.

Cribsy + Meg = Besties

Megalodon’s out there, y’all…I’m going to prove it. Who amongst you has the STONES to join me on my expedition in the Sea of Cortez?



Great White Hope This is True — 4 Comments

  1. They’re just lulling us to sleep. At the right moment, they attack. I’ve seen “Revolution.” I know how this goes down.

    Also, is that the tacky dolphin figurine that you sent me as a wedding gift?

    • It’s an ice sculpture, but I specifically chose it because the dolphins reminded me of that glorious sculpture I gifted you and your bride. Let’s also remember I was generous enough to include a mirrored light up stand for it as well!

  2. Hey guys,

    So I came here due the article Massive Great White Shark Caught In Sea Of Cortez.
    I was just randomly looking at sites with the Megalodon as subject. Then I came across yours. And I really hope you’re going to have luck with your search for The Megalodon. I’ve allways been into sharks since I was a little girl and I’m planning to swim with them one day.
    I wish you all the best with the Megalodon search. And please don’t forget to update if you have news about it 😉

    XX Morte

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