That’s Meth’d Up!


Say there, do you fine folks know where a young bon vivant like Mr. Aaron D. Templeton of Lewiston, Idaho could procure a smattering of Methamphetamine?

You don’t?

No bother. Aaron’s got a plan of his own, he’s a take-charge kinda tweaker. You see, Mr. Templeton decided to text his drug dealer for some hot n’ fresh meth.

This beautiful man had a brilliant idea: All the local meth-heads would pool their resources and buy a bulk amount of meth! Crackie got crackin’ and started texting folks to buy in.

Only because he’s a dumb dummy who loves meth, he texted his order to the wrong number.

Here’s where it gets hilarious…

Since the universe loves nothing more than getting a laugh at the expense of a desperate addict, the wrong number Aaron texted with his BRILLIANT idea/meth order was a cell-phone that belonged to a narcotics detective.

At first, like any smarty-pants would, the officer assumed it was his co-workers playing a trick on him. After he was assured it wasn’t a joke, that there really is someone THAT stupid out there, the officer played along. Aaron was arrested at the “meet up location” he named to pool meth-money together.

I’m so bummed that this dirtbag has such a dignified sounding name. What a waste of a classy moniker. I hear the name Aaron D. Templeton, and I imagine a kindly old southern gentleman who also happens to be the town millionaire.

My version of Mr. Templeton pays for the poor children’s leg braces and polio vaccines all while helping the town’s ballpark get a brand new electric scoreboard.

I do declare!

Instead, Aaron D. Templeton will now be a name forever to be associated with the world’s dumbest meth-head.

Though I’m not gonna lie,  pretty impressed homeboy was looking for a DEAL, as any seasoned shopper knows: ALWAYS BUY IN BULK.



That’s Meth’d Up! — 3 Comments

  1. dear smart a$s,
    before you go ahead and attempt to humiliate somebody with your ohh so witty jokes about a person that if number one you knew the actual facts about the situation you would have never written this retarded article, and number two if this whole sh*t show was really worth the hours I’m sure you put into concocting this amazing article you would have followed the status oif the case from beginning to finish

    • Dear Troll,

      Congrats on finally putting the pipe down and discovering this article all these months later. To clarify, it doesn’t take hours to write this sh*t, like diarrhea, it just flows like water. Nice try on bringing back the word retarded, and thanks for the kind words.

      Your Pal,

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *