“CiCi’s is a young man’s game.” – Mad Dad

It’s so hard to say goodbye: CiCi’s Pizza

Ever dated anyone crazy and think “Man, my life would be so much better without this person in my life!”

Clinging to detrimental relationships makes sense: It’s human beings sharing things like love, sex and DVDs. If you ever say the same thing about inanimate objects or a lifestyle choice, it’s time to take stock of your life.

This is a first step for me. I declare (bankruptcy!!!!!!!!!) on this day that I have quit CiCi’s Pizza.

The epiphany came after a recent visit with co-workers on a mere whim. I hadn’t been to CiCi’s for about a year and a half. I left with a terrible feeling in a purely physical manifestation.

I felt like crap. I get the feeling that gorging on cheap buffet-style pizza equates to the feeling of despondency and woe that the magic folk feel around a Dementor. I felt like I’d never be happy again.

Did I overeat? Naturally. If you don’t find yourself eating more than necessary at CiCi’s then that’s cause for another audit on your priorities. I realize that my behavior is the primary cause of my icky feeling post-CiCi’s. Therefore, it’s not CiCi’s fault.

Yet, doesn’t the bar that overserves an impending drunk driver deserve some responsibility?

My fault, CiCi’s fault. Whatever. Doesn’t matter because I’m not going back.

CiCi’s is a young man’s game. As a kid, you’d eat your weight in pizza. Then you’d slush those carbs down with a fresh Suicide from the drink station (if you don’t know what a Suicide is, then you need to go to another website).

In college, CiCi’s was standard fare, especially on Sunday nights when the cafeteria on campus was inexplicably closed (I never understood this … maybe my favorite RA can answer it). Again, it was buffet versus man and man always won.

Get older and you realize that the pizza is terrible (although the mac ‘n’ cheese pizza is about as refreshing of a development as you’ll find) and you eat probably a quarter of what you did at 15.

And you still feel like crap afterwards.

I wish I knew how to quit you.

Extricating CiCi’s from my life will not be difficult. In the past five years, I’ve gone maybe three times. It’s unfair to paint this as any kind of sacrifice. It’s borderline amicable between the two parties. CiCi is no good to me, and I’m no good to CiCi.

- Mad Dad

And to Answer Mad Dad’s question: 

College Cafeterias are closed on Sunday nights so that the ancient Pagan evil which manifests itself in cafeteria prepratory stations can have a night off to rejuvenate through cackling at starving students. Goria of Tantara works 7 days a week churning out toxic waste to entitled brats, she deserves a little time to unwind and savor a glass of virgin’s blood.

- The Crib Keeper AKA Greatest Resident Assistant EVER!