My Biscuits are Burning Just Looking at This

Vodka. Is there any more glorious nectar from your father’s liquor cabinet? (The correct answer is no.)

In the past few years Vodka tramps like yours truly have enjoyed a delightful trend in the booze industry, the flavored Vodka boom! You name the junk food, there’s now a Vodka flavor made to replicate it. Cake, Donut, Popcorn, Chocolate, Cotton Candy, Bacon; all in liquid form, just waiting to get you hammered.

While I’ve enjoyed many of these flavored Vodkas frequently, there’s a new one on the block you’ll never get me to drink, ever. Not even a teensy thimbleful.

Say hello to the star of your anus’ worst nightmares: the 250,000 Scovilles Naga Chilli Vodka.

Fire in, fire out.

Sold by those sick bastards at Master of Malt, this Chilli Vodka comes with a disclaimer and is described as smelling like “the devil’s tears, with a side of Agent Orange mixed with Pepper Spray.”

Dare your balloon knot not to quiver after reading the website’s disclaimer…

By purchasing this bottle, you agree that:

1) I have been warned and fully understand that this product contains extreme heat and should be used and handled responsibly.
2) I use this product entirely at my own risk and I understand the potential danger if used or handled irresponsibly. If I give this product as a gift I will make the recipient aware of the potential danger if used or handled irresponsibly.
3) I accept that the retailer and manufacturer of this product will, under no circumstances, be responsible for, or liable for, any claims of injury or damage arising from the use or misuse of this product and by purchasing this product, whether for myself or as a gift, I acknowledge and agree to this fact without question.
4) I am not inebriated or of unsound mind and am fully able to make a rational decision to purchase
this product.

Take it from your old pal Cribsy and SKIP THIS Vodka. Yes, I can’t believe I’m advocating avoiding the good stuff, but this stuff is all bad. Believe me when I say this, take a shot of Naga Chilli Vodka and your nalgas will look much like those of the gentleman in this photo…

Super-spicy and booze don’t mix. I like to come by my misery on the toilet the old-fashioned way, by eating at Taco Bell.



My Biscuits are Burning Just Looking at This — 1 Comment

  1. Pingback: Pour Some (Fermented) Sugar on Me | grouchymuffin

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