Droppin’ shark knowledge on ya!

Not gonna lie, Shark Week is my favorite week of the year. Mostly because I love the great white shark and I am devoted to rediscovering the MEGALODON ALIVE! But ever since I chartered this tugboat into the absurd of a website, I doubly love Shark Week! Why? Because my stats are through the roof, thousands of newly minted Megalodon fans join my flock this week. To all of you visiting for the first time I say: AHOY MATEYS! Welcome to the internet’s #1 place to get the straight dope on the STILL EXISTING MEGALODON. Hope you newbies like fartjokes, because this here’s the rustiest bucket in Class Harbor.

Anyrazorsharpteeth, tonight on the Discovery Channel they are premiering SHARKZILLA! And folks, I’m elated to say: It’s ALL ABOUT MEGALODON!!!!!!!

CHOMPIN’ AT THE BIT!

Set your DVR’s, beg your Mom to let you stay up late, sleep with your landlord to bum cable for an evening, whatever you must do: WATCH SHARKZILLA! Each year, I’m only given tiny scraps of Megalodon coverage, plankton if you will, and I’ve been patient. Luckily, I was a good shark enthusiast all year (spreading the word of the still out there Lord of the Deep) and I’ve been rewarded.

Just remember tonight, when some smelly old “scientist” tries to tell you there’s no way Megalodon lives in our oceans, put that fool on mute and have another drink on me. Those hookers have it twisted, MEG LIVES.

You tell ‘em gurl!