There Went My Plans For the Weekend

Jump on it!

If you’re looking to get drunk and have a slow rollin’ good time on a stolen Wal-Mart scooter, you’d best stay the hail away from Houma, Louisiana. There’s a great chance you’ll end up in jail.

Upstanding citizen and party animal about town, Thomas J. Phillip was arrested earlier this week for driving a stolen Wal-Mart scooter and joyriding it around town while intoxicated.


Officers received a call about a man driving a motorized scooter while pulling a man in a wheelchair through traffic on one of the town’s main avenues.

Naturally, because who in their right mind would want to miss out on seeing such a spectacle, the Cops showed up gave him a sobriety test, which he failed the moment he decided to steal a Wal-Mart scooter. They cuffed the 24-year old and slapped him with a DWI (driving while intoxicated.) The friend who was being towed in a wheelchair was not arrested. <–Silver lining

Police of Houma, as the great philosopher, Kanye West once said: “Yo, why won’t you let me be great?”  Let this man be great upon his stolen symbol of lethargy! You can’t cage drunken butterflies like Thomas J. Phillip and myself. Scumbags in rogue Wal-Mart scooters gots to fly free!!

TJP is not a criminal, he just has a weakness for Ripple and living life in the slow lane. Look, I’m not saying I’d make out with him, but I don’t think there’s anything wrong with driving a Wal-Mart Scooter drunk. The only thing homeboy is guilty of is looking like the most BUSTED 24-year-old I’ve ever seen. Seriously dude, did you choose the wrong chalice in the Holy Grail room? Because homeboy looks B-E-A-T.

Get yourself together, Man!!

That being said, I did a search for him, he’s been arrested before. I found a much better mugshot…

I’m guessing this was before he got into a methfight with a time-lapse camera.

I’d hit it.


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