She’s a zombie before her morning Starbucks.
The Robinson Funeral Home in Easley, South Carolina figured out the one place on planet earth that didn’t have a Starbucks and decided to fix the oversight.
They have built “The Coffee Corner,” an attached coffee shop that will proudly brew and sell, Starbucks coffee. Not only will The Coffee Corner offer delicious pastries, muffins and beverages to the bereaved, it will also be open for those who aren’t mourning the loss of a loved one. I’m guessing they will serve a FULL BODIED cup of coffee. (HEY-O!!!!!!!)
Owner Chris Robinson had the business vision and savvy to open a funeral parlor Starbucks and all he can come up with name wise is “The Coffee Corner!?” C’mon, at the very least call it, “The Coffee Coroner.”
And what about these “non-funeral home customers?”
People go to Starbucks to buy fancy drinks, pass judgment on people, show off their newest MacBook and freeload Wi-Fi.
Where’s the fun in eye-rolling at weeping widows? Sure, this Starbucks will have free Wi-Fi but who wants to surf nutshots when Pepaw is being embalmed in the next room?
My Prediction: The only people who will visit this Funeral Home Starbucks are: Goths, Angst-Ridden Teens, hard-up caffeine junkies, Emotional Eaters and Creeps.
Naturally, I must go there.
Seemed fitting.
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