Furby is Coming Back! (Kill It With Fire)

Welp, that whole Mayan calendar/ end of the world nonsense just might be right after all. Hasbro recently announced that they’ve been working on a NEW(!) Furby.

The once-great toy company has scraped the bottom of the “Terrible Ideas” barrel and come up with this plopping turd.BTW, it’s gonna cost $60.00.

You’ll have to excuse Hasbro, they’ve obviously developed a crippling gambling addiction that’s caused them to be hard up for cash. I mean, massive amounts of gambling debts is the only logical explanation. It was re-launch Furby or turn GI Joe out on the streets. I’m not mad Hasbro, I just want you to get help.

I urge you to SAVE THE HUMAN RACE by discontinuing this project! Abort this abomination of animatronics!!!The fate of the future for all mankind rests on you sending this demon zombie back to Hades, before it’s too late!

Look Hasbroke, I know you’ve still got those bills to pay, so by all means go ahead and ho GI Joe out. Why, I’ve even got a name suggestion:

Lincoln Logg (<–also a Hasbro Toy)

Great moments with Mr. Lincoln

You’re welcome.

Oh, and in the event the corporation doesn’t come to their senses…

Beep boop boop beep, I am Robo Crib Keeper, and I would never disparage the great and powerful Furby. Beep Boop.

One of you.

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