June 1st was national donut day. Yeah, you’ve already missed it.
Me? I enjoyed a free donut from my favorite yeast slingers: Shipley Donuts. But those of you who missed out, the 360 Vodka Company announced a new flavor on National Donut day that is sure to have you calling in with a “stomach bug” tomorrow!
Skanks, bottle huggers, booze hounds, fried dough enthusiasts, say hello to the nectar of the ages, GLAZED DONUT FLAVORED VODKA, the true ELIXIR OF LIFE!
By “elixir of life,” what I really meant to say is: GLAZED DONUT VODKA will be the liquid that’s going to be listed on your death certificate.
Some days are just too perfect to forget. Today, this bland and boring Monday has been transformed into a great day for drunken sluts like yours truly. There is now a donut flavored Vodka in this world; suck on that, TERRORISTS! USAUSAUSAUSA!
The best part about the Donut Vodka? The calories.
A regular glazed donut is 250 calories, a shot of the 70 proof Vodka? A mere 80 calories. Basically, it’s a diet donut that gets you WASTED! <–greatest sentence ever written
INSTANT SUMMER COCKTAIL IDEA INSPIRED BY THIS GENIUS DRINK!
1 shot Glazed Donut Vodka to 1 cup of sugar-free creme soda serve over ice.
I’ll call it the “Drunken Donut!” (crowd cheers.)
I predict the 80 calorie drink will not only be delicious, but will become THE DRINK of the summer!
Speaking of the scorching days ahead of us…
Get ready for the 4th of July this year. I say that because this stuff is going to cause your inappropriate uncle to GO WILD! The drunkard is gonna have limitless booze-fueled shenanigans with this liquid miracle. Racial slurs, accusations against your mother’s virtue, fist fights with inanimate objects, they are all a possibility.