Today is the beginning of FLEET WEEK 2012 in New York City! A week-long orgy of patriotism, sailors and drunken makeouts, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: FLEET WEEK IS LIKE CHRISTMAS FOR SLUTS LIKE US! It’s a time when the random make-outs and Valtrex flow like Appletinis at a Gay Bar. Because I enjoy whistling at large groups of sailors, I make sure to post about Fleet Week NYC every year.
There’s a special level of satisfaction a webmaster reaches when she finds that her website is the #1 google search result for “Fleet Week Skanks”. Finally, the world has recognized that this humble little hobo shack of a site is your #1 place for FLEET WEEK SKANKS!
Speaking of pride: this one goes out to all my beloved sailors in the Navy, enjoying their FIRST Fleet Week sans Don’t Ask Don’t Tell! Fancy Lads and Diesel Dames: get LOUD AND PROUD!
Can’t make it to New York City this week?
Don’t worry, perhaps you can make it to Ray Wolfe’s World Record breaking attempt this weekend! What’s the record? I’ll let Ray explain it himself! Stop what you are doing RITE NOW get some earphones and watch the following video. Oh, and you’re going to need a
bucket to vomit in towel to dry yourself off with afterwards.
Ray is not only a Canadian skeeze about town, he also happens to have a sexy patch of gray Astroturf growing underneath his upper lip. I won’t be making it to Ottawa for the pleasure of pleasuring him, but I wish him luck. Spoiler Alert: I’m pretty sure no one will show.
From my dock to yours, Happy Fleet Week 2012, you beautiful reader!