Congratulations to Me.

I'm solid gold awesome, CHUMPS!

It’s no secret that I have a healthy sense of self-worth. As a raving narcissist and budding supervillain, possessing high self-esteem is requisite. One of my many endearing qualities, other than being so full of myself that I started a website, is my endless capacity for self-congratulations. I will pat myself on the back for anything…no victory is too small, no accomplishment insignificant.

Angry Baby has developed a curious and quite entertaining quirk here lately. Seems my little grouch is a chip off the old block. Girlfriend loves to clap for herself, and I’m not talking about golf claps either!

For example, here’s footage of Angry Baby’s Egg Hunt earlier this month. She literally stops herself mid-hunt just to give herself a round of applause.

She claps for every last thing she does right. Cross the threshold in any doorway? Clap worthy. Successfully cram a handful of macaroni down the gullet? Round of applause. She’ll be in the middle of picking up a toy and will put it down to applaud herself for picking it up. Why, even as I finish scrubbing smeared poo offa her hiney, Angry Baby will give herself a round of applause for letting me change her without incident.

Before Angry Baby AKA Karma’s Delight and my life as a parent kicked me in the baby maker, a kid who stopped to give herself claps every 5 seconds would have annoyed me. But now? Now that the slow death of responsiblity has me in its unrelenting grip? I think it’s the cutest thing in the world.

It warms my tiny heart to know that Angry Baby is off to a smashing success in the self-esteem department. Every day is filled with hundreds of little victories, and I celebrate someone who refuses to pass a chance to congratulate herself. Will this strong sense of self worth blossom into maniacal narcissism, or will her father’s goody-goody genes and influence balance her out and avert world domination? Time will tell.

3 cheers to you Angry Baby, you’re a stone cold winner who knows the score in life, may you never forget just how awesome you are.


Congratulations to Me. — 3 Comments

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