Stare Into The Face Of A Genius

The only cats I love have been drawn by Lisa Frank.

Picasso, Renoir, Van Gogh…what do these 3 men have in common? They’re a bunch of monkeys slinging paint compared to TRUE ARTIST, Lisa Frank. For those of you who were homeschooled or aren’t Taylor Swift, Lisa Frank is the queen of school supplies, stickers and childhood accessories. Frank  follows a specific equation for making her beautiful objects de art: Rainbows + Glitter + Puppy, Kitten, Unicorn, or Dolphin = Catnip for little girls.

Ride that pony.

As a child, I collected and plastered Lisa’s heart-festooned double rainbow delights. My desk at school was filled with Lisa Frank, pencils, erasers, toppers, folders, and any other school related Frank merchandise I could cram in it.

As an adult? I still rock the Frank. Oh sure…I’m dismissed as either a busted hipster or insane cat lady when I wear my “Official Lisa Frank Club,” windbreaker with matching pin in public, but some things are worth fighting for.

My entire girl identity has been fostered by the candy-coated memaw on LSD aesthetics of this brilliant woman. Artist is such a euphemism for Lisa, she’s more like a LIVING INSPIRATION. Unfortunately, little is written about “Michelangelo 2,” aka Ms. Frank and photos of the woman are impossible to attain…that is until last week.

A photograph of the Icon has been released, I warn you…she’s so beautiful your face just might melt off…BEHOLD, the ONLY artist continuously name-checked by every 9-year-old female for the last 30 years…THE ACTUAL LISA FRANK!!!


I’ll give those of you who are fellow fans a moment to drink in all of Lisa’s beauty.

As a lifelong admirer and collector of the sticky-sweet visual gifts Lisa’s talented hand has drawn, I’ve got a few things to say upon finally seeing the Goddess of girly girl’s face.

1. Her Coif

Lisa’s hair is windblown, brunette and highlighted to perfection, why, it looks as if she was just out riding in her rainbow hot-air balloon filled with puppies and kittens!

Up, up and away in her beautiful balloon.

2. The Eyes Have It

Do I detect a bit of the “crazy eye” here? Makes sense that Lisa Rocks the crazy eye. All great, brilliant, creative types are a slight shade of nuts. (For example see: grouchymuffin.)

3.  Those Trillion Cuts Musta Cost a Trillion

Look at those big ol’ honkin’ HUGE triangle diamond earings. You know sh*t is real too. Lotsa little girl’s piggy banks contributed to those rocks!

4. The Turtleneck Dickie

If you’ll notice, Lisa’s wearing a thick ol’ sweater collar that then turns into a whirling sundae of brightly hued rayon. I’m not one to judge the woman who turned the fashion world on its glitter bottle last year when she released a line of adult clothing, but her neckline is baffling me.

5. Vacant Smile

Lisa’s blank, oblivious to humanity, smile is the product of surrounding herself in a world that only allows for beauty, unicorns and you guessed it, piles of money. Lisa Frank knows nothing of strife, unwashed poverty and sorrow. She’s an ethereal queen ruling a kingdom of unbridled joy, girlhood and spangles, you can’t expect her to make crazy eye contact with a lowly camera.

Lisa Frank, you have made this world a more beautiful place by filling it with your plastic coated pieces of Art.

One day Angry Baby will bask in my vast collection of your fine products. Of course, Angry Baby’s a tiny longshoreman, so she’ll probably hate your stuff, but such is life. You’ll always have me as a fan, from the first sticker of yours I placed in my LISA FRANK sticker album, to the Lisa Frank Casket I hope to be buried in, I’m a lifetime member of your fan club.  

This song goes out to the newfound photograph of the lovely Lisa.

Since we’re on the topic of Lisa F*CKING AWESOME Frank, click by and say hello to one of my favorite tumblr sites: Lisa Frank Party!



Stare Into The Face Of A Genius — 5 Comments

  1. I remember seeing this stuff when I was a kid. You’re right, every little girl had this stuff. I never knew one person cornered this entire market.

    Is it just me, or does her head seem way too big for her scrawny neck and frame? I bet she has lots of neck aches.

  2. THANK GOODNESS someone else realizes the REAL greatest artist who’s ever lived: LISA FRANK!! I graduated college last year, and guess which brand of school supplies I was still rocking throughout my university career?? I’m as devoted and crazy a fan(atic) and collector as ever. I daresay I’d wager that I’m at least in the top ten “people with the most Lisa Frank stuff,” if not #1. xD Her gorgeous glory is in itself a magnificent sight to witness. Yes, she does appear to possess that spark, that wild glint in her eye that is so often a hallmark of the true genius. However, I suspect that the “big-head” thing may merely be a slight illusion caused by the thick turtleneck collar? I don’t know; to be honest, I had never thought that.

  3. I’m baffled. According to the Oracle known as Wikipedia, Lisa started the Lisa Frank cult of colors and rainbow at the age of 24 in 1979 placing her datee of birth between ’54-55. Yet something about this photo suggests that it was shot in 1979. The windblown ‘do, that ‘turtleneck’…And the crows feet around her mysterious glare along with her overwhitened teeth from years of expensive dentistry tell me that this is a woman in her late 40’s or early ’50’s. Who is this Lisa Frank? And how old is she..really? In fact, is she even real? I’m salivating to the mystery right now.

  4. Not to suggest suggest for a moment that Ms. Frank is anything but a fascinating, elusive, enigmatic creature of intrigue and mystery, but…why assume that that photo was snapped in 1979, specifically? I have a younger image of her, but it too was probably taken in her 30s or early 40s.

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