Hug A Machine, Get Free Coke (The Jokes Write Themselves)

WORK IT!

You’ll have to forgive me for my late post today, I was out saving the world. Well, maybe that’s a little overkill. The best part about being a writer is I work from home. Not only do I get to wipe every runny nose of Angry Baby, I get to help my family out by “being the hero,” on an occasional basis. Every few months, I get a frantic call on my bat phone that while simple, involves I assist a family member in peril.

As a raving narcissist, I adore getting to play the hero.

Anyway, I’m here now, and BOY do I have something EXTREME to report on. Good thing it’s TUES the Extreme Day, the day we devote to living life in the EXTREME!

Singapore. Other than being the HOT asian vacation destination, a culinary muse and totally radical, what does this humid Shangri la have to offer?

Affectionate Coke Machines, that’s what.

Singapore is currently testing Vending machines that respond to touch. If a user hugs these particular soda contraptions, a free coke pops out.

Here’s the baby in action…

Look, I know I’m a Johnny-come-lately today, and free is free, but I just can’t help making jokes about it.

  • Drunk sluts have been hugging inanimate objects for centuries, wake me when the machine dispenses free bottles of Old Crow whiskey.
  • Showing love for free coke? Anyone who’s ever been to Vegas or a discotheque in Columbia knows this is not a new concept.
  • Who says it has to stop with free cans of soda, today it’s hugs for coca-cola, tomorrow? Who knows? Perhaps  free condoms for a pelvic thrust?
  • You know there are some cheap SOB’s that are loving on this thing 24/7. Wouldn’t be surprised if this vending machine ends up falling in love with its repeat non-customers. Sigh, love in the modern age.
  • Speaking of love, no one tell Lindsay Lohan about this whole free coke for love machine…she’ll chop it up and snort it before any of you have the chance to try it out.

Real Talk: I’ve been on dates that were less rewarding and interactive than the new hug me for a drink machine. What I’m trying to say is, I’m into it! Sure, I won’t be going back to Singapore anytime soon, but slip that machine my digits just in case he’s in town for FLEET WEEK 2012 next month!

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Comments

Hug A Machine, Get Free Coke (The Jokes Write Themselves) — 1 Comment

  1. Hhhhmmmmm. Hope somebody comes by once a week or so to disinfect it.

    Rubbing up against a machine for a coke, no problem. Rubbing up against a machine with 74 different people’s ball sweat on it, problem.

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