Let me first begin this post with some clarification: Bacon is delicious and essentially, “meat candy.”
With pork-laden delights such as bacon it’s no wonder people skip keeping kosher. But just because bacon rules doesn’t mean every nitwit on the corner needs to go on about it. We get it, bacon is yummy, big freaking deal.
The “I lurve bacon express” has been chugging at a fever-pitch since 2005 and frankly, it’s time to pull the train into the station. Bacon, while delicious, is played out.
How do I know this? Because they now make a Bacon Coffin.
For a cool 3k you can purchase a Coffin that has been painstakingly painted to recreate a piece of bacon. The coffin, while not possessing any real bacon, does come outfitted with a complimentary bacon air freshener for the corpse to never smell.
Alright world, with this stupid, stupid coffin, the Bacon worship craze should be officially considered dead. The End.
And for those of you nitwits who are actually considering forking over 3 grand to be buried looking like a big idiot? I’m throwing you ALL shade.