For thousands of years, stupid flowers have been hogging the affection stage. Anytime there’s an event where love is present: Weddings, dances, holidays, funerals, flowers are sure to be there, stinking up the joint with their lousy petals. Phooey on goody-goody floral bouquets, there’s a new lovely in the arrangement game.
Boozehounds, sluts, lushes and bitter skanks can all raise their
glasses heads high, because there’s finally a floral arrangement for us!
Say hello to the “Alcohol Bouquet!”
The bouquet is fairly straightforward to make.
Step One: Choose a vessel to hold the arrangement. Fill it with a material that will steady the items. The one above used crushed up cookies and gummy worms, but you can also use a variety of floral supplies if you’re going for a more elegant or lasting piece.
Step Two: Pick out various miniature plastic bottles of booze.
Step Three: Use sturdy green sticks to act as stems and affix the mini bottles to the sticks (good clear packing tape on the back of the bottle works.) I’m going to use wooden dowels from the craft store painted green.
Step Four: Place the bottles on stems in the vessel, arrange as desired and add any bows, sparkles, or hangover remedy pills you’d like to complete the masterpiece with.
Chug on it, Martha Stewart!
In the interest of full disclosure:
I’m making one of these in the next month, so I’ll be sure to document my final product. The Occasion, you ask? My pal Jojo is popping out her 2nd kiddo in a few weeks, did you REALLY think I was going to take flowers when I visit her in the hospital?!?
The Crib Keeper KNOWS what a new MAMA needs, and it ain’t dead flowers.
UPDATE! HERE IT IS! THE BOOZEQUET WAS A HUGE SUCCESS!