One Small Non-Stand For Man, One Giant Leap For Lazykind


The Future is NOW! Cue the silver space suits and hoverboards, because we’re thisclose to living the FUTURISTIC LIFE of the FUTURE! Each day, science and technology are marching closer to the glorious time when our lives will resemble that of our favorite futuristic family, THE JETSONS!!!!!!!!!

The genius inventors at Dornbracht unveiled their new Horizontal Shower Unit at a Swiss trade show  last month. The unit utilizes state of the art water programing technology and 6 strategically placed shower heads, thus allowing the user to shower while being completely horizontal aka layin’ down like a clown!

Get your mind out of the gutter.

While the shower will no doubt cost the equivalent of a kidney and 2 mortgages, rich lucky jerks around the globe are totally going to have Francois and his team of oiled man-servants install this in their various homes.

And while mere plebeians like you and I are 20 years out from the “Kohler Horizontal Mambo 2000,” debuting at our local home depots, I am rejoicing none the less.


Because I’m excited about where this advancement in home fixtures is going. For those of you showering in the dark, let me lay some knowledge on ya…

George Jetson, the patriarch of Hanna-Barbera Cartoon family of the future, the Jetsons, was the average everyman living an everyday fictitious life in the animated future. George was also the owner of the greatest shower ever. Please watch the following clip to see Mr. Jetson’s WONDERSHOWER!

Today, with this newfangled Horizontal shower, we are one step closer to the Jetson GOLDEN SHOWER (not what it sounds like!) AKA a future contraption that kicks you out of bed, puts you on a conveyor, then takes your clothing off, showers, dries, and grooms you and the sends you over to an automatic dressing machine. HOORAY PROGRESS!!!!

Lucky Jerk

Oh, Dornbracht: Eeep Op Ork ah-ah! (That means I love you.)




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