Happy Waxy Chocolate Day! Alternate title: EXTREMELY Inappropriate!

Eat Me.

Today is not only Valentines Day, but it’s also Tues-the-Extreme Day. And while I’m aware tons of you bitter Betties out there hate Valentines Day with a capital H, I can’t help but wish each and every one of you a HAPPY HEARTS DAY!

Um...

L4L and I toasted each other with a morning cup of Theraflu, and Angry Baby has decided to give me the greatest Valentine ever, she’s sleeping in! But enough about my WILD and ROMANTIC day so far, this post is all about YOU!

From the bottom of my tiny, shriveled, black heart, I love every single one of you darling readers. Matter of fact, just for the occasion, AKA OUR FIRST V.D. together, I’ve hand selected some WTF vintage valentine cards, especially for you!So crank up the Kenny G. and pop a questionable chocolate with an unidentified gooey center, It’s VALENTIMES to Celebrate!!!!!!!!

Why does this read sexual to me?

Bound Pussy

Nothing Says “I love you,” like butchering meat.

 Or Cannibalism

Fellas, looking for a SUBMISSIVE wife? Look no further!

I got a rash a few Valentines back, spoiler alert: they weren’t hearts.

Love or Suicide, YOU decide!

Sword Swallowing! (Shout out to all my Fancy Lads!)

Everything was unfun in Victorian times.

I saw a live version of this card in Mexico Once.

Knife to see you!

Something tells me ol’ Skunky is serious. He’s really thought this out.

Remember the episode of Punky Brewster where Cherry got stuck in a fridge while playing hide and seek? TERRIFYING!

Pretty sure kidnapping is illegal, Matey.

As you can see, we’ve been filthy perverts celebrating valentines day with inappropriate cards for decades! Now, GET OUT THERE and have an EXTREMELY AWESOME V.D.!!!!

Whole Lotta Love for y'all!

Let’s hear it for shame eating cupcakes in the break room, shame eating chocolates in your car, and shame eating a heart-shaped pizza all by your lonesome this evening, Hooray Valentines Day!

A little music to shame eat heart shaped donuts by this morning…


Comments

Happy Waxy Chocolate Day! Alternate title: EXTREMELY Inappropriate! — 3 Comments

  1. Wow I can’t believe those are real cards. You should check out the waffle house valentines day special. Google Waffle House Valentines day.

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