T-Minus 1 Week Until Valentine’s Day (Ugh.)

 

Happy Tues-the EXTREME day! Today is the day of the week we take the words of master songsmith, Vanilla Ice to heart and live TO THE EXTREME!

With Valentine’s Day but one week away, I’m sensitive to the fact that 99% of the bitter gutter skanks that read grouchymuffin are against the holiday. Rather than cow-tow to card companies and flower power, I’m choosing to skip the sap and serve only bitter VD posts. Consider these my Anti-Valentines to you.

Looking for a charming museum that pays homage to failed love? Look no further than the MUSEUM OF BROKEN RELATIONSHIPS!

Located in Zagreb, Croatia, this MUST SEE ATTRACTION is the unloved child of Olinka Vistica and Drazen Grubisic, two Croatian artists. The story is, when the couple broke up, they couldn’t decide who would get what, so they created a MUSEUM to showcase the mementos and keepsakes generated during their union. Since it opened, loads of folks have donated everything from a glass unicorn to a stuffed lobster.

Why end a crappy relationship and MOVEON, when you can donate former love tokens to a museum, where the remnants of your failed partnership will be enshrined for all cynics to chortle at for an eternity! Hooray for never moving on with your life and actually finding a lasting love! YAY FOR LIVING IN THE PAST!!!! <— Sarcasm

For these curators, it’s delusional, petty and grandiose all the way!

Not traveling to Croatia anytime soon? No problem! The Museum has a traveling exhibition that is currently at National Centre for Craft and Design in Sleaford, Lincolnshire.

You know the sad truth? Thousands of people have coughed up cash to see this stuff, and thousands more will. How do I know this? Because people are some nosey vultures.

Fact: If I wrote a post titled, “The best thing that could ever be, happened to me!” I guarantee none of you hookers would read it. But if I titled it: “This world is screwing me AKA a plague upon my house.” That post would have a hundred reads before I could hit refresh.

So to those of you who have seen, plan on seeing this traveling show, or visiting the permanent museum, I’ve got a business proposition for you…

Send me 10 bucks, and I’ll FAX you copies of my 8th grade love letters to Aaron Lewis! Spoiler alert: It didn’t work out.

Come one come all, for the small price of 10 bux, read the handwritten tale of two adolescents, who over the course of several elaborately folded notes teeming with Ninja turtles and Bel Biv Devoe references, realized they couldn’t stand each other. Sigh, young love!

In honor of our NO HEARTS for Valentine’s Day, I give you something EVERYONE will LOVE, a twit dancing his heart(sweater) out to HALL and OATES!


Comments

T-Minus 1 Week Until Valentine’s Day (Ugh.) — 1 Comment

  1. Now why would I pay $10 for something I’ve already read, bratty younger sibling style?

    P.S. Preston Leatherman aka dip in a sweater with an iPod aka untold beauty and treasure.

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