Today is either the greatest day of your natural life, or it’s the day when you permanently throw the peace sign at humanity.
Youtuber and inventor, Ben Heck has created a piece of technology that is a TRUE MARVEL OF MODERN SCIENCE! Ben invented a HOT POCKET DISPENSER that fits on your game controller!
Yes, you read that correctly! The problem that has plagued every gamer since the Atari, the eternal question of “Should I eat or should I continue to play my video game?” has finally been answered with a resounding: “BOTH!!!!!!!”
No longer will gamers risk the evolutionary cycle wiping them out, for they now have a way to NOURISH THEMSELVES WITH HOTPOCKETS.
You have to see the new-fangled MIRACLE(!) in action! Here’s a long-azzed vid explaining the concept and how to do it ( I just skipped around to the good parts.)
Ben, on behalf of all Mario Kart enthusiasts (every version except the crappy Wii version,) THANK YOU! Sure, I’ll still probably eat it a million times on Rainbow Road, but I’ll be EATING it (hot pockets) while I do it!
Ben, while I’m pretty sure you’ve never felt the loving touch of a human woman, I would gladly kiss you on the fleshy, pepperoni grease-smeared lips if you were here right now. You’ve made the single greatest invention in the lazy fools hall of fame, and I’ll be forever grateful.
To all you haters, I haven’t forgotten you. Yes, this might be further proof that our society is slowly morphing into the one shown in the Pixar Film, Wall-E or perhaps the crappy movie (with an awesome premise,) Idiocracy. Let this be the final nail in your “I’m over you morons” coffin.
Me? I choose to applaud and exalt a man who decided to channel all that untapped sexual energy into creating a MIRACLE. No longer will your burnout cousin Kenny (game handle: Goria of Tantara) make you spoon feed him chocolate pudding while he attempts to slay Ancient Dragon Kings and Spiders. YOU’RE FREE!
Only in America can a pocket filled with
chemicals cheese(?) get its own special device so it can be eaten simultaneously while you play a video game. USAUSAUSA!!!!!!!
Ben, you are an AMERICAN HERO…the GREATEST American Hero!