White Castle is Selling Booze.(Jokes write themselves.)

Just add Alcohol

Christmas came early for the world,  the culinary pantheon of class and distinction, White Castle, is considering selling booze with their burgers. Matter of fact they are testing it out in a little town called Lafayette, Indiana.

White Castle is looking to branch out and currently has 3 concept restaurants they are testing. At all of the restaurants you can purchase the traditional sliders and White Castle fries (that only come in one size) One of them is a BBQ joint called “Blaze Modern BBQ.” Check out their Website here. (Bonus Challenge: Try not to laugh out loud when you watch the promo video.)

Anybabies, In addition to upscale fare, at Blaze you can also purchase beer and wine.

3 words:

MERRY CHRISTMAS AMERICA.

Look,  I’m up to my Matzo Balls in cooking and baking, Angry Baby is roaming around like a drunk party Holiday reveller, so in the interest of saving time, imma just break it down for you.

White Castle Burgers taste the best when the consumer is intoxicated. It makes sense they have decided to remove the middle man. When skanks get completely wasted, they inevitably direct their designated driver to the Castle.

Yes, I know that thanks to those Harold and Kumar movies, White Castle is now synonymous with stoners, but it’s the drunks that have White Castle’s true heart, and this new concept restaurant is a valentine to us all.

Of course, I live in Texas, there is no White Castle. If Texans want a White Castle we have to buy a putrid frozen hockey puck at our local grocery stores.

Whoa, whoa, whoa…stop right there. Don’t you feel sorry for Texas one bit. You see, we have the Texas-founded burger chain and National treasure, Whataburger.  

Whataburger is fast, cheap, delicious and on the ready 24-7. It Rules.

Anygreasysliders, These titans of class and distinction truly know how to make their customer base happy. I look forward to making a pilgrimage to one of these future boozed up White Castles.  While it may be a single test restaurant FOR NOW, the whole booze at White Castle idea is a stroke of genius that will make the company loads of dough, it’s gonna roll out to more locations.

So this Christmas, instead of bickering with Uncle Henry about his Bill O’Reilly work-out DVD idea, and fighting over the last sausage balls (not what it sounds like!)…Bond over a shared agreement that Beer/Wine + White Castle = Genius.

To those of you that can, I say: go out and grab a bag of these buttgut-bombs a tall-boy of your favorite beer and pretend like you’re in a future. Me? I happen to have a box of these babies in the permafrost of my freezer. Just as soon as I get my ice-climbing gear out and traverse the depths of the deep freeze, I’ll be chomping on re-heated burger dust and drinking a tumbler of my finest Andre!

Suddenly, my kitchen seems like the perfect location for a satellite White Castle/ Booze concept restaurant. Could someone hand me an ice pick? Oh screw it…I’ll just go get a Whataburger instead.

GET IN MAH MAWF!

Hooray for CHEAP: Beer, Wine, Women and Burgers!

I think we all know what song is most appropriate here…

Robert Shaw = Bow Down


Comments

White Castle is Selling Booze.(Jokes write themselves.) — 2 Comments

  1. When I went to Cincinnati I brought back 40 of those suckers and I had to eat 20 of them before they would let me on the plane!! White castle still rips people off with their bacon. I mean how can one strip of bacon divided into smaller pieces be worth 60-80 or so cents?

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