This calls for a Celebration…

Comin' Attcha!

I want to tell you a story about a talented, charismatic, gorgeous and humble woman.

Back in March of this year, she had an idea to start her own website. See, she was already a professional writer and contributor to a certain BIG NAME celebrity gossip website, but having a kid left her needing an additional creative outlet.With the help of Lover fo’ Life, the site went live just 8 weeks later.

That humble siren of the written word is none other than yours truly, and this clap-trap hobo parlor of a website, is my labor of  love.

Several years ago, I had a personal blog, through Myspace(!) (RIP “Tom.”)

I would write infrequently and after 2 years, my unimportant myspace blog had 25,000 views. I thought I was pretty hot stuff. Much like the rest of humanity, I abandoned myspace like a rat on the Titanic. Goodbye personal blog.

And then a funny thing happened. Over the next few years, I had friends, family and acquaintences ask me to blog again. I referred them to my professional web gig (complete with my Nom de Plume,) and told them to “hit the bricks.”

Squeezing out a kid (or in my case, having it surgically ripped out,) changed my view on the personal blog, and more importantly, the dreaded MOM BLOG (aka fake azzed bragging in disguise.) I found myself paying for all of my past dicretions as a human, and I could recognize the comedy gold I had to offer. I decided to share my life with an Angry Baby.

Fast forward to May of this year. I went live with Oh sure, it was really sh*tty at first, I’m used to churning out 8-10 posts a day for my writing gigs, so I foolishly bombarded my first subscribers with a whole lot of nonsense. But I quickly hit a stride. The first month, my personal goal was to hit 500 views. I had 1,000 in a week. Clearly there was interest.

So, I decided to raise my goal to 25,000 hits by the end of 2011, because that is what my previous 2 year personal blog stint at myspace got overall. It was my new litmus for success. I hit 25,000 in a couple months. I had to readjust my goal once again…this time I went for the BIG LEAGUES in my goal planning. I came up with a number so huge and out of my reach, I would be motivated to chase the dream for the remainder of the callendar year.

Yesterday, I hit it. My many times re-adjusted goal number for 2011 was met before we even saw December. Wow.

No more hit goals for the year for me. I’m just going to enjoy the personal satisfaction of blowing the roof offa my expectations. Thank you.

Thanks to YOU, my darling reader, this non-mom blog is a roaring success. Your countless hours of timewasting through internet foolery is the sole reason this website of nonsense has made it. I will never forget this, and always will find a way to give you an excuse to stop being productive.

You see, if there’s one thing we have learned about YOU in this past 6 months, it’s that…

1. Ya’ll can’t get enough of my horrifying Angry Baby stories.

2. Half of my readers are dudes, the other half chicks…imagine that! Only about 55% of you are parents…the rest are lucky jerks who can sleep in on their days off.

3. You snitches love to read, but don’t like to comment. I get about one comment for every 500 reads. That’s fine, I aint mad attcha, I actually enjoy the fact that I am lucky enough to still personally handle all comments.

And one last bit of “behind the curtain” knowledge…

The internet search terms that get people to grouchymuffin are freaking comedy GOLD. Anytime I’m having a bad day, I just hop on and scroll through my daily search term referrers. Ex: my fave for today so far is: “college classy drinking.”

So to you my dear time-wasting, non-commenting (unless you do) reader I say: THANK YOU and keep up the good NON-WORK!!

I promise I will be here for you just as often as I can be, offering my no- cents on stuff I find wacky or noteworthy, and to those of you ghouls who can’t get enough of my ANGRY BABY tales of woe and hilarity? I solemnly swear to keep documenting every hilarious (to you) moment. Even as Angry Baby grows into Angry Kid. How do I know there will be a wellspring of continued parental humiliation? Because my child is Karma kicking me in the pills. As I’ve documented many times before, I am not a nice person, a real scumbag if you will…so there’s a lotta Karmic payback coming my way. HOORAY FOR HA-HAs!


(Personal thanks go to: Lover Fo’ Life, Baby-Bro, Mad Dad, the Rooster, Baby Sis, Andrah, G$, JMK, Jojo, Undercover Mother and of course, Valor.)


This calls for a Celebration… — 1 Comment

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