Post By Mad Dad: Educational TV Gets All Up In There

Wait 'till he sees the horticulture episode.

 

Educational TV Gets All Up In There

 I don’t have cable. However, thanks to the switch of television to the new digital signal, an uncanny number of stations have popped up.

Apparently, at least in my neck of the woods, there’s a bevy of channels hidden amongst the major networks, WB, PBS, the 3,000 Spanish-speaking channels and 80 religious channels (seeing those people praise God with such earnestness … while on TV is one of the most singular fascinating things ever) are these goofy channels that, as far as I can tell, play movies and re-runs of classic TV shows 24 hours a day. The chances of catching the Sylvester Stallone pièce de résistance, Cobra, on a random night are better than you think.

One of these channels is the Qubo channel, a 24-hour, seven-day-a-week network of cartoons. Most of the new cartoons typically have some ethical quandary the racecar-driving dogs or talking shellfish have to learn about.

One of the older cartoons featured is “The Magic School Bus” circa 1995.  It is about a class of extremely unpopular and unloved elementary-aged children, who are put in perpetual danger by their flighty, ill-kempt and haphazard teacher and the so-called magic school bus, which turns into a shuttle in outer space, a fish or submarine in the ocean. It can shrink or enlarge at will.

If this teacher and “magic” school bus had been in a Texas school district, she would’ve been run out of town on a rail and the school bus would have been tied to a stake and burned.

In a recent episode, I was horrified by the proceedings. The children were “learning” about salmon and their journey swimming upstream. As they make their way up, the children can’t understand why the fish would go to all the trouble.

They learn, finally, that the females make the trek to stow their roe in the river bed. Morphed into a fish, the bus “lays” its “eggs,” this being the children themselves huddle in individual clear bubbles. They are set inside the river bed. Then they ask a very reasonable question:

Why do the male salmon make the journey too?

For those of us that have made babies ourselves (and even those who haven’t), we know EXACTLY WHY THE MEN ARE THERE

Yes. A dozen cartoon salmon coldly begin to … ejaculate on the nests of eggs, including the children.

I’ve seen less sperm in Stag videos. It was a creamy white shower, a virtual downpour.

But you don’t have to take ol’ Mad Dad’s word for it. Play the video below. Fast forward to the 15:42 mark, if you dare.

The show however, did not address as to why the male salmon then rolled over and fell asleep.

-Mad Dad


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