When I rolled out of bed at 5 GEE DEE thirty in the morning, I was on a mission. I had a perfect medley of leftovers in my fridge this morning to make quick breakfast tacos! Don’t worry, my usual breakfast is a near frozen can of Real Sugar Dr. Pepper and a handful of whatever fruit angry baby is taking with her breakfast.
After 10 minutes of nuking, frying up and assembly I was the proud chef of 5 sausage, egg, cheese, and Cholula breakfast tacos. Two for Lover fo’ Life, two for me, and one for Angry Baby. These tacos were amazing, micro rays of sunshine shone individually on each of them. The first bite I had mid-kitchen was followed by the Hallelujah Chorus, it was THAT good.
And then I had to get to babywrangling. Angry Baby had a BONUS(!) dook on deck out of NOWHERE. I placed my glorious, handmade tortillas filled with delights, on the coffee table, swooped SMELLY Baby up and went off to change her. Foolishly, I left my plate of barely nibbled
miracles tacos on the table. A table that is completely reachable by El Rey (my furry son a tiny chihuahua.)
I think you know where I’m going with this.
I returned 2 minutes later to tattered tortillas and eggs strewn about like brains at a crime scene. IT WAS HORRIFIC.
After I stopped pounding my fists to the sky screaming “Noooooooooooooooooooooooo!” I went to avenge the crime. The purloining pooch was a step ahead of me, he hid under the couch with the rest of his spoils. What a Dik.
El Rey knew I was busy with the “kid who doesn’t even have any fur,” and would be gone long enough for him to wreck shop on my harmonious morning and take all the goodies I SLAVED over, under the couch for his private chops only. I’ll give it to him, he’s an industrious little jerk, I’m the idiot that left the world unattended on the table for him to steal!
Animals = Total jerks = just like you and me!!!!!!!!!!!
In honor of my thieving a-hole of a dog, El Rey…I give you: ANIMALS BEING DIKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sigh. I can’t stop looking out the window remembering the good times I had with that delicious taco that I bore from my own two hands. YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU’VE GOT ‘TILL IT’S GONE!!!!!!
I’m never gonna dance again, guilty feet have got no rhythm.