This dude feels me. (Not what it sounds like!)

Monday, I hate you more than National Treasure 2, the Seinfeld finale and head lice. What I’m really sayin’ is:  You nasty, Monday. Thank goodness there’s someone who hates their job as much as the rest of us.

Meet Tim Ryan.

A Hero to all.

Tim Ryan, as you Dallas-area readers already know, is the host of the Hot Mess Express Good Day Dallas.

The show does a daily guessing game for the day’s celebrity birthdays…they simply guess the ages. Well, pepaw is sick of it and ain’t gonna play, thankyouveddymuch.

Why did MY NEW HERO decide to quit that shiz on live television? Because the “celebrity” whose age he was supposed to guess, was Kim Kardashian. Tim went off on a rant about the Kardashians that is so eloquent ’twill bring a tear to your eye. Happy Monday.

Because local news are a bunch of behind-the-times haters, I wasn’t able to embed the vid. you’re gonna have to click on the following to see him in action. Trust me, it’s worth it.  See Pepaw call Kim K out- here!

FYI: My favorite part is when he says, “What is she?” Disgruntled News Anchor Tim, a TIP O’ THE STETSON to you!

Way to go Tim. You get up every weekday at 3:00am to report on crap no one cares about and can get from the internet in 30 seconds. You’re a dinosaur man’s man in a land of vapid panty-waist bloggers that “have it all wrong.” My guess is you watched Anchorman and “didn’t see what was so funny.” You’re all class and old-school charm Timmy Ryan, I love you.

Thank you for toiling away at a job that doesn’t matter so you can feed both your family and quest for fame. You truly are a local celebrity that keeps it real. REAL HONEST.

Tip o' the Stetson to ya hometown Tim!

Watching this dude react the same way my insides do to Kim Kardashian, reminds me that life is worth living on a Monday Morning.

Pumpkin Spice Latte:  I COMMAND YOU TO WAKE ME!!!!!!!!

Speaking of exhausted, here’s some footage of a deep-sleeping little dormouse. I think it’s safe to say this morning all of us wish we could curl up on a wildlife researcher’s hand and hibernate.

(Thanks for the comic, Dawson!)


Comments

This dude feels me. (Not what it sounds like!) — 7 Comments

  1. Seinfeld finale: Very underrated.

    Houston: Traffic and Katrina refugees.

    Dallas>Houston.

    Also, in Dallas, we have a new “morning” guy with the last name “Corning.” That marketing plan wrote itself.

  2. People in Dallas dress like it’s still Dynasty-era America. And they drive like total dicks. That being said: Houston is a filthy hobo town, that’s why I live in the ‘burbs and carry a handgun. (My 18 year old self just knifed me.)

  3. People in Dallas dress like sluts. Men and women. Cocaine, yes. Breast enhancements, yes. Douchefest, yes. Bolo ties and Dynasty-era wardrobes, no.

    What city doesn’t drive like total dicks? I was in Austin two weeks ago and they drove like dicks. Being a dick behind the wheel is not regional. What I don’t get is traffic. Austin and the surrounding area has 1/15th of the population of Dallas or even Houston. Yet, I would put its traffic right up there with the worst. I think it’s a-hole hipsters deciding to take a nice trip on the highway at 4:30 p.m. to buy the new Feist record.

    Somewhere your 10th edition of “Feminine Mystique” is crying while collecting dust and silverfish in the attic along with that ceiling poster of Everlast and those Chi-O T-shirts.

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