I have documented the personal connection Lover fo’ Life and I have with the McRib Sandwich. See post: Straight From the Vault
Those of you who have read the piece, or personally know me, know it is the start of my FAVORITE on-going game…McRibbing! I’ll give you the cliff notes.
Don’t worry, I find the McRib sandwich to be vile and putrid, but I love the way McDonald’s trots it out every year like they are doing us some huge flippin’ favor. IT’S NASTY- NOBODY WANTS THAT SHIZ! But McDonald’s wont be thwarted, they know absence makes the heart
forget how gross pressed pork and burned syrup tastes grow fonder. True Story: I halved a McRib with L4L once and almost horked just from the “meat” texture.
McDonald’s yearly seasonal push for these baddies, is something I truly admire. It’s like the busted lady at the club, sure you’d rather not make out with her, but come closing time, she shimmys her stonewashed jeans into someone’s heart every time. Why? because we do stupid crap when we think time is limited. Manufactured scarcity is what McDonald’s is really peddling.
McDonald’s revives this “tradition” every fall right before the holiday season begins. Like a drunk uncle at Thanksgiving who challenges your Dad to basketball, only to vomit in the driveway and start screaming how everyone loves him more, the McRib will be back. Always. Why? Because McDonald’s knows some of you out there would eat shoe-leather if it came from the golden arches.
Because I’ve always been able to recognize good game in fellow ne-er do wells, I’ve been hip to Micky D’s ruse, since the very get-go. Matter of fact, I have an elaborate McRibbing Game I play with friends, co-workers, family, and now, you. THE McRIB IS BACK Y’ALL LET THE McRIBBING BEGIN!
McRibbing: The act of manipulating an unsuspecting person to ask a question only to give them the unexpected retort: “THE McRib is back!!!!!!”
1. McRibber MUST ONLY McRib in season, once you see the Engraved McRib invitations (AKA Signs/Billboards), the Game is on, and ONLY for the Duration of the limited engagement.
2. If McRibbie gets hip to your ruse before you McRib them, it is an unsuccessful attempt. You lose that round.
3. No means of McRibbing is considered off-limits, as long as you illicit an inquisitive response from your mark- you win.
The other evening I received my first McRibbing phone call from my Baby Sis and her fiancée. It is ON. Of course, Angry Baby has long since outgrown her “the McRib is back!” onesie that announced my pregnancy to L4L, but that doesn’t mean I won’t make her another. You see, unlike the McRib, my dedication to the non-cause of McRibbing is not for a “limited time only.”
In honor of these heady times, here is A McRIB PARTY SUB! From those
sickos winners at FOODBEAST!
I dare you not to fall in love with the hairy
Cabbage Patch doll gentleman in the purple tee he’s dreamy!
Since the McRib is back, I urge you to stay far away from the actual sandwich itself, and instead start McRibbing the world!