Science finally doing something right: The Big Foot Edition!

I'm real, yo.

Good Morning my beautiful babies! I am snoozing into my homemade pumpkin spice latte and let me tell you I’m lookin’ RUFF. Your ol’ pal the Crib Keeper decided to knock a soda-pop back at 9pm, so I was up until the wee hours o’ the morning. The snitch of it is, no one faxed Angry Baby the “cut a sister some slack” memo, so she got up at her customary 5:30am. She’ll demand my full attention until about 9:30-ish, when I’ll force her violently protesting little booty to take a morning power nap. In other words, I’m up and none too thrilled about it.

But enuff about me. In other tall, unwashed, beasts covered with hair news, a group of scientists and yeti enthusiasts from around the world, met outside of Moscow and went on a trek into the Siberian tundra. Seriously, the news story called them “Yeti enthusiasts.” 

Young gentlemen hoping to squire ladies about town take note: Put the title “Yeti Enthusiast,” on a business card, and watch the kittens fight over your catnip (if you know what I mean.)

Anymonsters, as I was saying: a group of scientists and yeti enthusiasts from around the world met in the Siberian tundra and found evidence that makes them 95% certain the Yeti aka Sasquatch aaka Bigfoot! Here’s an excerpt from an article all about it from The Guardian.

“More than a dozen scientists and experts flew in from Canada, Estonia, Sweden and the US to exchange findings with their Russian counterparts at a day-long conference in the town of Tashtagol, some 2,000 miles east of Moscow in the Kemerovo region. Locals there have reported an increase in sightings of a creature in recent years.

A two-day expedition to the region’s Azassky cave and Karatag peak over the weekend “collected irrefutable evidence” of the yeti’s existence there, the Kemerovo government claimed in a statement. “In one of the detected tracks, Russian scientist Anatoly Fokin noted several hairs that might belong to the yeti,” it added. Scientists also found footprints, a presumed bed and various other markers.

“Conference participants came to the conclusion that the artefacts found give 95% evidence of the habitation of the ‘snow man’ on Kemerovo region territory,” the statement said.

“I know they exist – I see them every day,” a conference participant, Robin Lynn, said by telephone from Kemerovo. She says she has a family of 10 yeti-like creatures living on her land in the US state of Michigan.

Evidence of yeti life of the creature has allegedly been found in the Himalayas and North America, where it is known as Sasquatch, or bigfoot. John Binderangel, a Canadian wildlife biologist who has been studying the yeti for 30 years, said the Siberian expedition offered further proof of the beast’s existence.

“We were shown some twisted willow branches that are referred to as markers – they were convincing evidence of this hominoid,” he said. “There were also some tracks, but we’re not quite sure what to make of them.” Conference participants called for the launch of a campaign to “work out a more serious relationship [to the yeti] in society and mass media”, the Kemerovo government said. They also proposed opening a university research centre.”

Hooray! It’s time to break out the bubbly and celebrate, all you Bigfoot believers. Looks like Mr. John Lithgow is gonna have a paycheck coming from the inevitable reboot of HARRY AND THE HENDERSONS thanks to this wonderful news!

I for one, say good on them. Way to go on 95% success! Of course, I’m choosing to gloss over the fact that anytime I say I’m “95% sure” of something, I really mean “I’m not sure at all.”

It’s wonderful for you enthusiasts, seriously…I’m not jealous one bit. Watching you bask in the glow of impending Sasquatch existence verification makes me long for the day I can say the same about my BELOVED Megalodon shark, aka “the Lord of the Deep,” the Megalodon is thought to be extinct by haters and conventional science, but I and so many MEGALODON ENTHUSIASTS like myself, all know that it still lurks in our waters!

Way to go science, you are finally starting to get to the bottom of the REAL ISSUES, up next…could we get to the bottom of why my child chooses to keep commuting businessman’s hours? aka up at 5;30am EVERYDAY. Newsflash Angry Baby, you’re a baby. Now is one of the few times in your life where you can enjoy being lazy with no one judging you. YOU’RE WASTING PRECIOUS LOAFING TIME!!!


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