Paula Deen is so skrewed (in Denmark.)

Smile or she will cut one for you.

It’s official, I’m never going to Denmark. The country who has given us legendary hot chicks such as Brigitte Nielsen (the original Red Sonia,) and Helena Christensen, filmmaker Lars Von Trier and a 1/2 of Viggo Mortensen, and home to the fictitious HAMLET is dead to me. Case closed. 

I’m sure have all heard right now of the new Danish “fat tax”, a 2.8% tax added to foods with saturated fats. Included in the tax is butter aka “Paula Deen’s precious life-force” the new tax is designed to help curb the obesity epidemic in Denmark that’s spreading like Nutella on a pop-tart.

Read all about the fat tax in a lovely piece from that rag The Washington Post.

Danish Fat Tax…mmmm danishes.

Can I be real for a second? This is the flipping country that invented the DANISH BUTTER COOKIE, and now they are taxing it for being too bad for you!?

I really just can’t with these fools. 

Look y’all, Paula Deen is rich enough to buy and sell the country of Denmark, but if the queen of butter were to cook anything while visiting the country, she would be instantly bankrupted due to the tax. 

Word, Y'ALL!

Denmark is smart y’all, they are hip to Paula’s evil plot to enslave everyone’s arteries thus making us all her minions, forced to help her cover all the world’s vegetation in butter. After the vegetation is slathered and smothered, who knows what that sassy demon granny will do to us. I can tell you one thing, SHE’LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE….Y’ALL!

Hmmm, this was merely supposed to be a quick post about a stoooopid tax (redundant) and it’s turned into a warning to the world about our future evil “head snitch in charge,” PAWLA DEEEEN.  Oh well, it’s better you know now.

As for Denmark the dead? They can eat a bowl of kale for all I’m concerned, THEY CEASE TO EXIST IN MY HEART.

One things for sure, if the United States follows suit, I’m prepared to cash in my retirement to keep Twinkies in mah mawf.

Some things are worth fighting for.

And just because I am feeling generous, here’s footage of Paula getting hit in the face with a HAM! Whoever threw that, you are the true hero!

Side Note: Notice how her husband (the dude who looks like Santa Claus at the end) is giving a “Serves that snitch right” look. Even he’s sick of her, y’all!


Paula Deen is so skrewed (in Denmark.) — 1 Comment

  1. What absurdity!!! If they want to stop people from becoming obsese, how about tax SUGAR??? CARBS??? Do a little scientific research maybe?? Not to mention that the whole idea is STUPID to begin with!!! Denmark is dead to me too, Crib Keeper!!!

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