Ladies and Gentlemen, boy’s and girls, children of all AGES:
I come to you with wonderful news this fine day. Yesterday afternoon, Angry Baby began walking. At first it was just a few teetering steps in front of one another in a couple of sessions. And this morning? Well this morning she appears to be getting the idea that walking is much more efficient. So far, many wobbly steps have been taken all around the house. Sure, we’ve got a little while to go before she’s running roughshod all over this big blue marble, but it’s a start.
The kid has 50% eagle scout and 50% villain genes. So, there’s a slight chance she will not be a terror on toes. Especially since she’s been so meek and well-mannered as a baby to begin with. (Read my eye-lids: SHE MADE ME TYPE THAT LAST LINE!)
My advice to you world, LOOK OUT! ‘Cause the cutest lil’ tyrant to ever terrorize the countryside has legs…and she knows how to use them!!!!!!!
Shout out to the skank-makeover army! Those tramps were an inspiration to me!
In all seriousness folks, babywrangling is a crazy thing y’all…one day you’re feeding a screaming grubworm every 2 hours and the next you’re watching her wobble in confidence. For those of you keeping track, in a mere 11 1/2 months I’ve gone from screaming little lump to walking angel (Read my eye-lids: HELP ME!)
Some of you no doubt had or were babies that walked earlier (or later), just like some of you are praying for the day when someone you love can walk again.
Walking is a milestone that all who can should cherish every day. Be it the Momgyver I know who was told her son wouldn’t walk, only to drop him off at Kindergarten, walking proud (after years of hard work!)
Or my own Mom, who is still struggling to walk after a year and a half of therapy. Keep on trucking Mimsy!
In life, every step is a victory. So let’s PARTY!!!!!!
I celebrate Angry Baby’s newfound understanding of human mechanics, and I celebrate those who aren’t as lucky. You see, that’s the great thing about the internet. It’s the great equalizer, we all can sit back, relax and wait for the reign of Her Royal Highness, Angry Baby
Sorry I channeled the ghost of Oprah Winfrey at tail end of this piece, but might I remind you chumps? BEWARE- ANGRY BABY IS WALKIN’!!!!!!!!