The World Has Lost a True Hero

This is what Doritos look like in Japan. Such artistry in the nut-stomp graphic, don't you agree?

Folks, get out your finest bag of Doritos, paw through the entire dang thing, procure the cheesiest (aka most orange) Dorito you can find and raise it high to the sky for Archer West, the genius inventor of AMERICA’S GREATEST GIFT, the Dorito.

In addition to giving the WORLD the joy(!) of neon orange-colored fingertips, Archer West had the coolest name in the history of great inventors. And now he’s gone.

According to the beacon of distinction and truth, the Houston Chronicle, Mr. West passed away last Tuesday, at the age of 97.

Yes, 97. The king of Doritos was well-preserved by his toxic waste cheese dust of gold. I’d like to point out that Jack LaLane,  “THE KING OF HEALTH FITNESS (aka Dorito Hater #1),” died earlier this year at the age of 96.

Do what you will with that fact.

The family is planning a graveside service for Archer West (that name rools!) The service will take place on October 1st.

His daughter went on to share that the family is planning on, I KID YOU NOT:

“tossing Doritos chips in before they put the dirt over the urn.”

Let’s all crunch a bag of Doritos for our departed homie and when you’re almost done, pour the cheesy neon confetti into your mawf. Just think of it as a “live to almost-100 supplement!”

And now, a memorial Tip o’ The Stetson…

RIP Archer, a helluva chip, to which I tip!

Tip o’ the Stetson to Arch West: Father, Husband, Inventor of Doritos, Texan and awesome name-holder. A true HERO to us all.

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