The Timberlake Appreciation Society Presents: BREAKING NEWS!

Um...

Well, it’s about time you got here! Move along, there’s not time for pleasantries. You see, today I am not meeting you as the founder and curator of the Timberlake Appreciation Society, the world’s only society devoted to proving Justin Timberlake is worthy of adoration.

Today I come to you in crisis! Our beloved muse and founding cause, Mr. Timberlake, or more specifically, his precious dignity, is in danger.

The chick from that 70’s Show, Mila Kookaburas or whatever her name is, had her phone hacked recently.

In addition to photos of her trampin’ it up…yawn. There were some risqué photos of Justin.

According to TMZ…

the leaked pics include two of JT, 30, in compromising positions: One is of him sprawled shirtless on a bed and another features him jokingly wearing a pair of pink panties on his head — although whether the underwear is Kunis’ is only an educated guess. The only photo of the actress shows Kunis, 28, in a bathtub — but only her head is visible. The final pic is “explicit in nature” of a man, but his face isn’t in the shot.

So, my fellow members let us move to the library where I will lay out an elaborate train of proposed thought.

I’ll need you to pay extree attention to for this flimsy premise to work.

Let’s say you were a Hollywood starlet who looked freaking awesome in movies, but very blah in real life. Say you shot a movie with a certain JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE and you two hit it off…

Wouldn’t he be enough for you? It would be safe to assume any photos of dudes on the phone would be of Justin Timberlake. Duh, she’d be a fool to mess around with anyone else, out of fear of having  JT write another “Cry Me a River,” about her.

Still with me? Goooooood.

Ok, so back to the TMZ quote previously mentioned in the post: “The final pic is “explicit in nature” of a man, but his face isn’t in the shot.”

For those of you not in this sleazy business of entertainment and gossip mongering foolery, the above quote is code for, “Peen Shot.”

One last stop on this MERELY SPECULATIVE train of thought…”Tie-up Town!”

Smart social-climbing starlet +only pics of JT on her phone + Peen Shot= There is a possible JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE DONG SHOT ABOUT TO DROP ON THE INTERNET AT ANY MOMENT.

Of course, I am not going to pay any mind to the sex-perverts looking to get their kix on some Timberlake Twig shots, heck many of you reading this might have already broken into the “Hallelujah Chorus,” but I, like you as distinguished members of an exclusive and erudite social cause, should not dip our eye-balls in the mud of this scandal. Which is to say, don’t stoop to trolling the internet for hours on end infecting your computer with multiple viruses to hopefully sneak a salacious peek at our beloved’s boner cheeks.

Be warned and be vigilant. If we don’t spread the word, it’s sure to die right here, why it’s not like thousands of people stop by and read this crap every day. Whoops. My Bad, JT. Forget I said anything, all of you reading this. Carry on and go about your day! HAPPY FRIDAY-EVE!!!

 


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