Aye me hearties, I have a tale of woe to weave. ‘Tis all about a hardened fisherwoman and her tormentor, the Angriest little teething demon to ever terrify the seven seas….IT’S TEEF TERROR 2011 time, once again!
Months ago, when I last had a dispatch from my captain’s log of doom, Angry Baby had settled into a quiet teething routine. New chompers coming up no longer bothered her, iced teething rings and celery stalks did the trick to soothe her no longer savage teething beast.
But you see, it was all a clever hoax, a false sense of security our little great white shark had lulled me into. How wrong I was. I’m such a fool.
The tiny megalodon jaws of fury are back, like the sequel to a horrible movie no one should have seen in the first place (I’m glaring at YOU, Human Centipede!) The Teething beast has risen from the depths to once again terrorize
swimmers all living creatures.
It started with a 5:30am screaming wake up.
Lover fo’ Life took that attack for me, thus more reason why he is my L4L. As I heard him wrestle the Angriest little shark this side of the equator, the distinct sound of extreme fury could be heard.
About 7:30, she started getting whiny and flushed, I decided to take her temp. It was a low-grade fever, but in my book, a fever’s a fever. I gave her a dose of kiddo tylenol, looked in her mouth, and thar it blew. A big ol’ molar is trying to crest in the back of her ferocious jaws.
The meds have kicked in, her fever is down and she’s about to go down for what I’m guessing, is going to be a nap of epic proportions. Of course, no one can be sure, it’s all up to the toof and the queen.
As captain on this rusty bucket of horrors, I will keep you updated. Because let’s face it: when a screaming, crying, yelling teething baby isn’t yours, and you don’t have to listen to the aural assault, It’s actually quite fascinating. If you’re like me (a total jerk at heart) It’s fun to witness other’s TEETHING TERROR. Enjoy my pain, you hyenas!!!
All hail Queen La-TEEF-A!
PS: Did I mention she has a stomach bug too? Yep she just threw up all over her cribstons. When it rains it pours I tells ya! I’m up to my elbows in baby drama.
Oy Vey, what a day.
THAT’S IT! I’M TAKING TODAY BACK. Craptastic morning, I hereby FLUSH YOU be gone, demon day!