Planet Bling (Sorry, it was just too easy.)

Damien Hirst, BOW DOWN!

A group of American,  Australian, British, German and  Italian  Scientists have discovered a planet that is all diamonds.

In the interest of science, I researched this piece of scientific news (for your benefit of course, because I’m a giver.) You’d be not-that-shocked to know I spent the better part of 30 minutes reading a litany of international “Elizabeth Taylor” jokes. It seems even the brains of the world lurve a corny joke as much as your pal the Crib Keeper does. But I digress.

This new discovery is in the Milky way, but faaaar away in the Serpens constellation. More than 4000 light years away. Of course, if  science would perfect time travel, (I’m glaring at YOU, Stephen Hawking) we’d be on the diamond planet  by dinner time. What’s for supper on Planet Bling? Carats, of course. (crowd BOOs)

A planet made entirely of gorgeous, luxurious, cascading, wall-to-wall diamonds!? It’s as if all of my dreams are coming true. Today it’s diamond planets, tomorrow it’s the discovery of the Megalodon, who still exists, by the way. Make a wish my lovelies, it seems our galaxy is vast and varied enough to hold them all!

Please enjoy the musical stylings of my personal vocal idol and classy DAME.

Dame Shirley Bassey.

This song will most likely be the International Anthem for the new planet! (merely a speculation)

The Truth: I do a dead-on DSB impersonation. I can sing Goldfinger just like her. One of my many obscure talents. Why, I have more facets than a diamond!!!

And that, Dear Reader, is called bringing it back full circle.

The End.


Planet Bling (Sorry, it was just too easy.) — 1 Comment

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