Just ask for extra donut holes…

Who knew Dunkin' Donuts also sold pork?

Talk about TUES-the-EXTREME day, extreme productivity! A New Jersey woman is out to teach us a thing or two about multi-tasking.

Melissa Redmond, a 29-year old Dunkin’ Donuts employee from Mine Hill, New Jersey, was arrested in a sting operation called, I kid you not: “extra sugar.”

Seems Melissa Redmond, in addition to serving up Donuts, she also served, nuts.

If you haven’t gotten my poor attempt at double entendre by now, let me break it down for you: at a particular Dunkin’ Donuts in New Jersey, between the hours of 9pm-5am if you went in and asked for “extra sugar” you got Melissa’s honey buns, for a price.

Cops were tipped that Mel was doin’ the double dip and did what they had to do…stake out a Dunkin’ Donuts and wait for the offers of sex! 

I know, it sounds too hilarious to be true, surely this is some screenplay for an 80’s sex-romp starring Guttenberg and Lovitz? I assure you it’s not. This really happened.

You know, rather than throw hate at Melissa and her hooker-y ways, I’m going to be the first to applaud her. Cheers to this woman for an incredible business acumen! Melissa took 2 things dudes love and combined them into one career. That’s called having her donuts, and dunkin’ too.

Did I mention she worked her magic in 10-15 minutes or less? Talk about a full service donut station! All her customers ended their donuts with a lil’ dessert, talk about a happy ending.

Real Talk: the 12 year old inside of me has so many donut and pastry related sex puns, (D**KIN’ DONUTS!) I’m just going to quit before this devolves further.

Note: I will update when I have her mugshot! We have to see this business pioneer in her freshly glazed glory! (getyourmindoutofthegutter)

UPDATE: No Mugshot yet, but there is a grainy profile pic  from Facebook. It’s hard (tee hee) to make out (lol) a good image of her, but I will say this: so far she’s MUCH better looking than I imagined.

Dunk THESE Donuts

http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5jt74dNq1kFWa0x4gHqq33PiD8x0w?docId=5a3635b589ef4eb09dc6f9a51748e5c3


Comments

Just ask for extra donut holes… — 4 Comments

  1. “Cheers to this woman for an incredible business acumen!”

    You sound TOO much like a certain Ignatious J. Reilly there.

    Also … 10-15 minutes? She was clearly giving the guys their money’s worth. No way it takes more than 37 seconds to get the cream into the coffee. (That oddly makes no sense or all the sense in the world.) How about, “No way it takes more than 37 seconds to get the glaze on the donut”?

  2. I LOVED that movie where the pizza kid gave the person ordering a special treat when they asked for “EXTRA ANCHOVIES”. =)

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