The Greatest Resignation Letter Ever

At least his lettuce is limp.

Whole Foods Employees are just like us!!! They hate Whole Foods too!!!!!

Making the rounds on the internets is a humdinger of a resignation letter. All of the names have been removed, but you’ll get the spirit of the thing. It puts the company on a free-range, organic and 100% reserve-ative free, ULTRABLAST!

Writing a bitter diatribe about Whole Foods and sending it to THE ENTIRE COMPANY was awesome enough to merit a grouchy muffin post but then, the author of the resignation letter, kicked it up a step. They went on to address individual folks the writer had a problem with: BY NAME.

I’ve built it up enuff, read for yourself! The whole email was posted on Gawker. The thing is loooong, so you might want to read it while you’re taking a dump break, it’s well worth it. Again the names have been removed, so feel free to stick in the names of folks you can’t stand!

It’s titled:

“All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.”

True Story: A pal used to work in the Whole Foods corporate office, the people running the company are swell, but paid NOTHING. He used to live on the rejected potential products the company was going to just THROW AWAY. In the end, he couldn’t take being so poor, and left the company.

So, you’ll have to forgive me if I take delight in someone from the inside calling Whole Foods out for being the self-righteous phonies they are.

Look, if you want to shop at “Whole Paycheck,” fines wit me, I’ve been known to darken their door for a specific ingredient when all other resources have been exhausted. But I resent it the entire time I’m there. I get it, they’s fancy and have shiny, new-fangled things like kale. But let’s be real, you shop there for one of 2 reasons:

1. You like paying 10.00 for lemons picked by Vestal Virgins in Provence.


2. They shop there on Top Chef.

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