Afterschool Special: The Claws Come out.

Easy Tiger!

We have a lot of fun splashing around the shallow end, here at www.grouchymuffin.com.

Every once in a while, I like to take it to the deep end of the pool, in a series called “After School Special,” this is one of those times. For those of you who  wish to stay shallow, might I suggest our 398 other posts? We have offerings from a variety of writers and purveyors of chuckles.

To the rest of you, welcome to another installment of the After School Special.

For those of you without kids, let me fill you in on a lil’ fact of babywrangling. Babies have paper-thin nails that are sharp as razors and grow excessively fast. Managing the baby nail situation is key to baby’s safety. There are many ways to deal with tiny nails, all of which, I suck at.

As it stands, Angry Baby’s Dad handles the nails. He trims them on a regular basis, but even frequent trimming leaves enough for Angry Baby to get an occasional dig in.

Her favorite thing to do when she gets super-mad, is claw her face.

Her pediatrician explained all babies do this, and eventually they realize it causes pain and stop. Angry Baby still claws when she’s extra cheesed off.

Yesterday, while I was preparing her lunch, she got furious. In the span of 2 minutes she was so angry, she glided her nail down the side of her face and broke the skin, ever so slightly. I came back with her lunch, saw the gruesome fallout, and almost dropped her strained peas. In the time I was fetching her num nums steps away in the kitchen, she went Freddy Krueger on herself.

Nice job, jerkolini. (The baby, not me.)

Today her scratch has faded and I suspect it will be gone by tomorrow. But I’m left with the lingering question: why so angry, baby?

Yes, I know I built my website off of her adorable, angry shenanigans, but seriously, when does the face clawing of early early childhood stop?

I’m tired of having to explain to strangers that, “No, she didn’t fall. Baby did that on purpose, she got mad over something minor, and decided to gouge at her face.”

Parents out there, did your little angel ever have flash fits of rage that caused the same facial freak out? If so, how long does this last?

Also, do you have any neat Momgyver tips in your swiss army diaper bags regarding nail maintenance?

Side Note: please don’t tell me what Angry Baby’s great granny said: “Chew the baby’s nails off.”

I’m not kidding, she really did tell me that. You know the nuttiest thing of all? I thought it sounded like a better alternative to using clippers, so I tried it.

Long story short, Angry Baby looked at me like I was stone cold nuts and let me put one tiny fingernail between my teeth before she kicked me in the jaw.


Comments

Afterschool Special: The Claws Come out. — 5 Comments

  1. Logan had to wear mittens. He still snags himself even though I keep him trimmed up as well. I know the stigma attached when everyone asks you how you could allow your precious to get injured. I to keep hearing they will grow out of it and I have to assume we do as I have no memory nor do I desire to claw myself. 🙂

  2. Ummmmm I probably chewed DD’s nails off for the first 4 months of her life before I worked up the courage to try the clippers. Haha. I thought people were crazy for doing it before I had kids but it worked for us. Since then, I’ve just been using the baby nail clippers. I sing a little made-up fingernail clipping diddy to her and she stays still-ish long enough for me to clip most of them. I usually give up before I’m done and try again the next day. *shrug*

  3. LOL. I agree, when great gran told me, I thought it sounded much less barbaric than clippers. I will try the singing, she loves songs and doing stuff to music. I loved the blog you sugged btw, it’s debuting as BOTW tomorrow!

  4. This post made me laugh. Wanna know why- of course you do. When j gets mad he hits his head on the floor- wall- whatever will make a thud. Our kids are a little bit crazy.

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