Where half of you wish you could be right now.

I need a tan.

In addition to waltzing, the folks in Vienna, Austria know how to RELAX. Vienna is home to the world’s first 5 story public hammock house!

The Hammock house is filled with hammocks and looks out onto a public park. Everyone is invited to stop by, grab a ‘mock , hang, swing, and listen to Jack Johnson. Oh wait, this is Austria, forget Jack Johnson. I meant,  David Hasselhoff.

I can hear you now,

But Crib Keeper, you said half of us wish we were there, I think ALL of us wish we were swinging in a hammock, listening to Jack Johnson David Hasselhoff!

Not so fast.

Right by the Hammock house, is an inflatable sculpture. A sculpture of breastesses. Gotta love the Viennese city planners: they felt the penultimate art to accompany this hammock house would be a multi-breasted female sculpture.

The Park architects in Vienna, in case you haven’t guessed, are  14-year-old boys, who in addition to rocking out 24-7 to Iron Maiden, like to look at hoooooooooooooooters!

Look I’m all about art and art in public spaces.

But a 5- sided tribute to breasts?

Oy Vey.

So, all of those who wish they were staring out onto a beautiful Austrian park swaying in a hammock while looking at stark-white, massive mammaries, book your tickets now. You sickos.

Hope you like Hasslehoff!

Music to abduct beautiful women by:

I’m not sure which is the Hoff’s greater abomination, covering a BEATLES song…or wearing FRINGE. Hmmmm, it’s a toss-up.

Time for  Palate cleanser aka GOOD MUSIC!!!!

It’s one of my fave bands, Handsome Boy Modeling School* teaming up with Jack “Keepin’ it Casual” Johnson!

Side Note: Lover fo’ Life goes to the chiropractor for his back. When he goes he gets the crap cracked and pulled outta him. The Docs office only plays “mellow music” AKA Jack Johnson and the like, singing smooth grooves. One time I was sitting out in the lobby listening to JJ while L4L was in the back gettin’ cracked and L4L let out a loud yell (in pain, of course.)

I’d like to say my heart broke for my beloved in his time of suffering. But the juxtaposition of his cries of pain with the smooth groove of Mr. Johnson was too hilarious to resist. I laughed for 3 minutes. Until Dave Mathews band came on and bummed me out. Why? Because I HATE DAVE MATTHEWS.

This is the song that piped over his screams = COMEDY GOLD! (I told you people I was a jerk.)

Awww… but Crib Keeper, Dave Matthews is soooo…


My site, my rules.

Don’t like it?

“Tough Titty” (said the 5-sided breast sculpture in Austria.)

*Friendly Tip: Go out and get Handsome Boy Modeling School’s White People, it was and is my top album of 2004! Bonus: Cat Power guests on “The Truth”

(via www.Gizmodo.com)


Where half of you wish you could be right now. — 4 Comments

  1. You know that solid gold quality you have just tarnished a bit in my eyes. 10+ DMB concerts down, hopefully plenty more to come (when I find a job, or a lovely woman who wants to take me with her!)!!
    And I thought a multi-sided giant inflatable statue of breastesses might do something for me, but nada. I just look at it as art. Pretty cool art though.

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