10 Signs your Angry Baby is Gifted.

Brilliant!

Fellow Momgyver and guest writer, MisSarcasm shared an article with me that was published on Yahoo Shine.

It was called, 10 Signs Your Child May Be Gifted.

http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/parenting/10-signs-your-child-may-be-gifted-2500544/

Fascinating. But I have an Angry Baby, she’s isn’t old enough for me to extrapolate each and everything she does to prove she’s a genius, yet.

Oh, who am I kidding? I’m a raving self-proclaimed narcissist and I think my daughter is SOLID GOLD AWESOME, even when she’s screaming and fighting her way throught the 2am diaper change.  

Anybabies, here are the article cliff notes.

10 Signs Your Child May Be Gifted

  • Retains Information: The term “in one ear and out the other” seems to apply to most children. Those who are a cut above when it comes to intelligence actually retain a wide variety of information and are able to recall it at a later time. An example from the National Association of Gifted Children (NAGC) is: “One six-year-old returned from a trip to the space museum and reproduced an accurate drawing of a space rocket he had seen.”
  • Wide Spectrum of Interests: Gifted kiddos display an interest in a wide variety of topics. They may like dinosaurs one month, space the next month, and so fourth.
  • Writes and Reads Early: If your tot is a smarty pants, she may be able to read and write very early on and without having had any real formal teaching.
  • Is Musically or Artistically Talented: Children who display an unusual talent for music and/or art are often considered gifted. Tots who can draw things to perspective, have perfect pitch, or display any other higher perception of forms of art usually fall into the gifted category.
  • Shows Periods of Intense Concentration: Children are not known for their long attention span, but gifted wee ones are able to have longer periods of intense concentration.
  • Has a Good Memory: Some gifted tots are able to remember things from when they were smaller. For example, a two-year-old may remember and bring up (unprovoked) an occurrence from when he was 18-months.
  • Has an Advanced Vocabulary: A tot who’s early to speak is not a sign of giftedness alone, but if your lil talker is using advanced vocabulary and sentences, then he or she may be as bright as you think. According to the NAGC, “Children at age two make sentences like: ‘There’s a doggie.’ A two-year-old who is gifted might say, ‘There’s a brown doggie in the backyard and he’s sniffing our flower.’ “
  • Pays Attention to Details: A gifted child has a keen eye for details. An older child may want to know specific details about how things work, while a younger child will be able to put away toys exactly where he got them from or notice if something has been moved from its usual spot.
  • Acts as His Own Critic: In general kids are not too worried about themselves or others, unless their friend has something they want. Gifted kids are the opposite and are concerned with others, but are most critical of themselves.
  • Understands Complex Concepts: Tots who are highly intelligent have the ability to understand complex concepts, perceive relationships, and think abstractly. They are able to understand problems in depth and think about solutions.

 For those with Angry Babies, I decided to modify this list, just for YOU! I’m such a giver!

10 Signs Your ANGRY BABY May be Gifted

By the Crib Keeper

  1. Retains Information: I’m sorry, what was I saying? I forgot.
  2. Wide Spectrum of Interests: Examples of Angry Baby interests include, but are not limited to: Pulling your hair, fighting naps, fighting diaper changes, fighting clothing, fighting other babies, being the center of attention, yelling, screaming, clawing.
  3.  Writes and Reads Early: Angry Baby is illiterate, but make no mistake  Angry Baby writes orders for temper tantrums, and reads the writing on the wall. What’s the writing on the wall say? Angry Baby Rules.
  4. Is Musically or Artistically Talented: Angry Babies can scream in several octaves. When they hear music they often start “singing along” in rambling vocalizations that are nonsense. As far as art goes, when your Angry Baby is having a dirty diaper changed, she might kick her foot violently into said “dirty” and smear it all over the changing table and you, like some sort of Picasso who paints in short bursts of rage.
  5. Shows Periods of Intense Concentration: Your Angry Baby locks eyes on anything remotely shiny and refuses to stop until said object is crammed in their mouth.
  6. Has a Good Memory: Say it’s been 8 hours since you accidentally let your daughter smack her nose with a toy? She remembers. And she’s still super mad about it, matter of fact, just thinking about it is making her furious enough to throw her pureed bananas at you.
  7. Has an Advanced Vocabulary: Of course your Angry Baby isn’t talking just yet. But they already have a vocabulary. Grunts, yells, attention-seeking fake coughs, laughs, growls, and mumbles all mean one thing, YOU’RE SO SCREWED WHEN THEY FINALLY CAN TALK.
  8. Pays Attention to Details: Didn’t put an extra scoop of cereal in with the apple sauce this morning? Forgot to get Woof Woof out of the car before bedtime? Trying to sneak away time to read www.grouchymuffin.com while they play with the same stupid singing butterfly, and your angry baby immediately notices and starts yelling? Devils in the details, and your little devil notices EVERYTHING.
  9. Acts as His Own Critic: Angry Babies don’t cut anyone slack, including themselves. They get frustrated at their own body parts. Angry Baby Fingers not picking up that cheerio fast enough? BABY YELLS AT THEM! All four limbs won’t cooperate in letting ANGRY BABY master crawling? BABY WILL SCREAM THEM INTO SUBMISSION!
  10. Understands Complex Concepts: A gifted Angry Baby has read Ulysses all the way through, and screamed at Joyce’s lack of structure and rambling narrative…ok I made that up.

Real Talk: As parents we’re going to read tea leaves into everything our children do. That’s our lot in life: to be convinced your child is brilliant, perfect and smarter than all the other little meatballs slumped over at playgroup.

The truth is, humans are incredible, and when they are babies and children, they are at their most honest, raw and fascinating. Everything your child does IS a miracle of life and a sign of intelligence. Rather than read a bunch of stuff that is written vaguely enough to confirm your primal belief that you’ve got a Lil’ Copernicus, just enjoy the brilliant little human you’ve created.

Besides, there’s always someone smarter, prettier, richer and better. But there is only ONE YOU: your kiddo/ Angry Baby is a chip off the ol’ block, AKA PRETTY, AMAZING, AND ONE OF A KIND!!!!!

Like how I did that? I gave it the ol’ Oprah finish at the end, sure I started bitter, and sarcastic…but I ended my post warm, soft and FULL OF DIAMONDS!

You Go Girl!

 

(thanks MisSarcasm!)


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