The Great Smashburger Meat Up

Mayor McCheese, There's no term limit on love.

Do you know what I’m doing tomorrow? I’m meating some dear friends for Smashburgers. This isn’t just my usual lunch with friends. You see, these wonderful people don’t have a Smashburger anywhere near them. They were so annoyed inspired by my incessant raving about Smashburger (to anyone who will read or listen,) that they said: “WE MUST MAKE A PILGRIMAGE TO THIS PANTHEON OF BURGER DELIGHT!”

You see, what started as a simple promise to introduce friends to the ‘Burger people like ME who are IN THE SMASHBURGER KNOW, call it that, has become a SMASHBURGER FLASH MOB! Don’t believe me? Allow me to explain…

I posted on pal DL’s page inviting her and her charming ladies (she has two) for burgers, I fully expected all of my friends who wanted to try the Smashburger to pick up on it, AND THEY DID!!! What started as a humble, “Gee, Crib Keeper, I’d sure love to try one of those things you won’t shut up about,” has blossomed into a full on par-tay! And I for one, CAN’T WAIT. We’re going to be 14+ strong!!!!!!

The Players

3 moms, 2 dads, 1 devastatingly dashing perfectly single GENTLEMAN, Pretty in Pinot and her beloved, 2 little ladies,1 set of 2-year-old twins, 1 angry baby and whomever else decides to MEAT us there.

The Location, Tsk tsk tsk…internet privacy Y’all! The internet is filled with wingnuts and cocopuffs like the ones that frequent this Clap-trap Hobo PARLOR!  If you’re sincerely interested, drop me a line (under, contact us!) I’ll pre-screen you AKA make sure I know you, like you and you won’t end up flinging boogers at the kids. I’ll email you back with the location and time. All queries MUST be made by tomorrow at 11:00am. NO EXCEPTIONS.

I jokingly called it a SMASHBURGER FLASH MOB!!! But that’s not completely true. I called the manager at several locations, found when the slowest best time was and made a friend with the Manager at our location, BENJAMIN!!!!!

I don’t know Benjamin’s last name, but he was so helpful and told me no matter how many folks I wanted to bring, just call him 20 minutes prior and they will be “ready for us,” he then went on to say: “I’ll take care of you and your friends.” He was even happy we would have kiddos in tow!

Maybe it’s because I explained my cause first, or perhaps it’s because as a collective group we’ll be dropping some coin at the ‘Burger. I’d like to think it’s just because he is a fellow lover of smashburger and appreciates another fan’s wish to share it with the WOOOORLD! Sorry Five Guys Folks, you’re just going to have to make your own plans for lunch tomorrow…unless you want to step on in to BURGER HEAVEN with us ?

Gee, thanks Crib Keeper, I live on a deserted island, the three Items I picked were 1. my laptop 2. my universal cell (that I tether to said laptop for internet.) 3. A bucket…So I can continuously fill it with the bitter tears of regret, as I don’t live close to any sort of Smashburger!

My bad guys.

Oh, you hate it when people say “my bad?”

 My bad, about my bad.

Cheer up, I’ll be documenting it ALLLL for you. The awesome meatstravaganza is ON! You’ll feel like you were there…and if it goes terribly and they kick us out like an old cartoon or Uncle Phil always did with Jazz on The Fresh Prince of Bellaire, you’ll be glad you’re just reading and not living through it!

Besides, think of all the calories you’re saving, NO skimping on the sour cream and Riunite tomorrow nite for YOU! You are a HOT LEAN MACHINE!!!!

Until tomorrow my fellow burger enthusiasts.

And just because I LURVE TOM JONES just as much I Carlton!!

For the bitter Betties, have a drink on me!

Here’s some long-dead dude talkin’ bout Riunite  all dry and crusty… just like the hard roll you’re eating for your lunch tomorrow!


Riunite, official beverage of !!!!!!



The Great Smashburger Meat Up — 3 Comments

  1. Pingback: Happy Anniversary, My Dearest Readers!! | grouchymuffin

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *