Teef Terror 2011: Naked and Raw

Mommy, you're cheap.

Today Queen La-Teef- a is super mad about her chomper pain…she’s awnry y’all! We’ve got two almost completely surfaced chiclets!!!

In other news…

Of all the lousy ways to save a buck, when will I learn? The other day while shopping at my local Wholesale club, I decided to pull the trigger on trying the generic diapers. Mainly because when I saw my posh brand price per unit compared with El Cheapo’s…I was powerless, I had to buy all 228 of them.

“But what if you don’t like them? It’s an awfully big leap for diapers you’ve never tried,” my Lover fo’ Life, so astutely pointed out.

“Can it tomato!” These are Cheeeeep!”

I’ll bet you can guess what I’m about to say right now…

You get what you pay for?  

 Bingo.

10 diapers in, I can see this was a HUGE MISTAKE. For the love retail, oh how I wish I could turn back time! A day of screaming, raw little butts and being used as a toilet, I give.

Yes, you read that correctly…Angry Baby was screaming particularly shrilly this afternoon, I went to change her only to find she looked like a baboon from the waist down. BRIGHT RED BUTTCHEEKS. I cleaned her up and painted her back porch with ointment, and went on our merry little way. 30 minutes later, when it was time to replace her diaper again, I noticed the red returned, I repeated the painting, and this time, when I reached for a diaper, she cried.

Picking up on her not-so-subtle cue, I went ahead and let her go commando. I decided to hold her for a while sans anything on her raw little booty, let things air out a bit. She immediately showed signs of relief. No really, she was so relaxed she whizzed all over me and my 2nd outfit of the day. Awesome.

Let’s flush these crap diapers (pun and it stays) and with them the bad memories of being a pee depository. No use in crying over soiled blue jeans, let’s take comfort in the fact I will be donating a NEAR MINT condition Box of 228 diapers, well 218.

I’ve made a HUGE MISTAKE!

If I could turn back time, I’d take back these diapers that have hurt you…


Comments

Teef Terror 2011: Naked and Raw — 3 Comments

  1. I love Cher. Dude, you need to learn all about Extreme Couponing from that one guy we know in ATX who has become obsessed with it. I’m guessing he could get you a zero total receipt on your favorite diapers in no time flat. I’m watching Cher right now, so that’s all the advice I have for you because i need to concentrate. Also, I’m living up to the “pinot” part of my handle; I’m on my 3rd glass of pinot (grigio). By the third 4th glass, I’m usually logging in as “prettyinpinto” and wondering what the h*ll is the matter with my stupid computer. 😀 I’ll be stopping at 3 tonight.

  2. My 2 boys were allergic to the cheap brands of diapers and would always break out in the lovely red rash. Maybe AB is allergic to this brand….also cheap ones don’t hold crap!

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