Afterschool Special: Nature is Nifty

Here’s something you need to know about this post, it was written at 12:45am last night.

This is an AFTERSCHOOL SPECIAL, for those of you new to class: An afterschool special is when I temporarily hang up my joy buzzer and squirting flower of yuk yuks and put on my “serious” blazer and mock turtleneck.

If you’re  looking for something on the lighter side, go to the righthand column of the page and click on any other post, chances are in our near 300 posts, you’ll be up to your wig in ha-has!

I’m just now posting this because hey, who wants to start the day off with a bum-out. Not me! Side note to those naked readin’ this with your bums out: PUT A TOWEL UNDER YOURSELF FOR CRYIN’ OUT LOUD.

I’m also writing this while I have the chops to do it, I think if I sleep on it I will chicken out, so heregoes…

Angry Baby choked on a piece of bread. I feel horrible about it.

Yes, you read that correctly, it was a terrifying incident that happened in a millisecond.

For the past few weeks, we’ve had fun sailing the shark-infested waters of Teef Terror 2011 AKA teething. During this time, each and every object she could cram in her pie hole was ground against those budding chiclets, including new foods. Her pediatrician recommended we start exploring foods.

 Angry Baby has enjoyed sucking and chewing on various foods; she gums things to oblivion, but is progressing right along. The other morning I tore a small piece of bread for her to gum on, when  she instantly inhaled the piece and started choking.

Out of nowhere, my mom instinct kicked in. I steadied Angry Baby who was freaking out, shoved my index finger in her mouth, fought her tongue for a split second and once she realized I was there to help, my daughter went calm and let me quickly (but deliberately and gently) sweep the back of her mouth and clear her obstructed windpipe. I obviously didn’t make the bread piece small enough even though the child had never attempted anything but gumming and sucking bread products!

Life, thankfully went back to “normal” very quickly. But as I’m laying here wide awake in the wee hours of the morning, I can’t help but play the incident in my head over and over again. I need some feedback from all my parent friends, is this a normal occurrence? Have you ever had to do this? I need to know how out of the ordinary or routine this is.

I’m grateful beyond measure for the knowledge that miraculously came over me. The brief first-aid chapters in all the baby books I read while knocked up, coupled with my 9th grade health class, gave me the most critical knowledge I’ve ever needed.

8 months into this parent business, and I’m still in AWE of the instinct that seems to be encoded in my Mom genes.

So what say you, experienced baby wranglers? have you had to save your choking child? If so, what are any tips or tricks you might have to prevent it in the future?

Sorry for the departure from my usual ha-has, but what can I say? It IS an afterschool special, after all!


Afterschool Special: Nature is Nifty — 13 Comments

  1. It’s PERFECTLY NORMAL. To save your child from choking, drowning, falling down stairs, etc etc etc.

    Eli has choked on a bit of food, and like your story, it was over quickly and shook me up for days and days. But he was fine.

    His floatie thing flipped over in the pool when he was about 7 months old and he was upside down in the water for about a millisecond. (I was right beside him).
    Again, he was fine.

    And when he was one, his dad forgot to latch the baby gate at the top of the stairs and he promptly fell all the way to the bottom (still clutching the ritz cracker he was munching on, too). I was TERRIFIED he was broken, but AGAIN, he was perfectly fine.

    God made babies bendy, bouncy and altogether durable because He knew it was our dumb asses’ job to take care of them and keep them alive.

    You are doing great, so don’t get too worked up. Don’t think about what COULD have been. The scary thing happened, you took care of business, and Valor is perfectly fine, and safe.

    Lots of moma love to you,

  2. Thank you so much for the quick response! I’m going to take your advice and STOP DWELLING on what might have been. YOU ARE THE GREATEST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Lots of Love right back attcha, lady!

  3. Yes Cribkeeper, like Amanda above, all that happened to her and you are natural. I had the chocking thing happen on more than one occasion. I have also had my moments in ER when Keoni was a small one due to falls and such. Times like these make us question our parenting capabilities and the fact you question them indicate that you are in the right place. Trying to be the best parent one can be is what is important and as your child grows you will encounter new and at time terrifying experiences. Just hang in there, be ready for trouble, and do you best. That’s all your child can ask from you. Good luck sweetie and continue to have fun with it because the fun will end….hehe, hello adolescence! :o)

  4. We have totally been there.

    We have many tales of saving KP from near death. Including many fingers into his mouth to rescue him from various foods.

    KP turns 4 in August and has already had 2 stitch ups due to accidents. Are we neglectful awful parents? I don’t think so (but, really, what else would I say?). Once, he rolled *over* the bed rail and cut his nose on the nightstand. We went to the ER for glue, we got home, he riplped the glue off. We went back to the ER for stitches. The second set came from him losing his balance while getting up off sitting on the toilet and falling on a diaper box, cutting his….well, there may be men reading this, so I won’t say, but you can guess.

    Basically, this may have been the first time you have had to save her, but hang on tight, because it probably won’t be the last. That’s where all the grey hair comes from.

    As a side note, toast is easier for them to manipulate than bread. As a parent of a chronic aspirator you learn these things. 🙂

  5. I don’t have any pearls of wisdom….but I wanted to confess that DD has not been given any table food yet. :-/ Why? Because I’m terrified. I know she can’t go to kinder eating purees but even the Puffs we give her scare me…and they DISOLVE in her mouth! At DH’s urging though, we are trying ground beef tonight and probably some bread. Maybe some boiled egg yolk this weekend. We have to get this child eating real stuff but it’s scary!

  6. To add to that…Moms out there, if you have any suggestions on what other beginner foods are good to offer, I’m all ears!

  7. Yes, we have one of those and she LOVES it. Greatest invention ever. It’s just the – here’s some little chunks of stuff, now feed it yourself, kiddo! – method that scares me. Toast is on the agenda though! Great thought!

  8. Mine has a mouth full of chompers, and we go through this more than I like to admit. Most of the time his gag reflex kicks in and he barfs it up on his own, usually in a very public place. He loves an audience. Other times we have to intervene. This involves ripping open whatever constraints he happens to be in at the time (high chair, stroller, etc…), snatching him up like a little rag doll, and squeezing him like a role of Charmin (our version of the baby heimlich). And as quickly as it happens, it’s all over and everything is back to normal. This actually happens so often that I carry it out as casually as changing a diaper. We’ve tried tearing things into microscopic pieces, filing off corners of crackers, eliminating potential hazards altogether even. It still happens. It wasn’t as bad with our older one, but it did happen. It’s not as traumatic for them as it is for us parents, and I guarantee she won’t remember it. You are a great momma! You will eventually get past this phase & she’ll move on to bigger and better things…like running with scissors…

  9. Update…teeny tiny can barely pick ’em up pieces of ground beef = gagging and vomit.

    smushed up black beans = gagging and vomit.

    teeny tiny pick up-able pieces of toast = LOVED!

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