Jem is her name, no one else is the same.

It’s Tip o’ The Stetson Time Again!

Yesterday at lunch with Rooster and Jem, Angry Baby did some new tricks…some were treats, other’s were big ol’ turds.

Trick #1 Screaming.

 She started a new form of screaming beyond her usual gruff growl, actual peels of screaming, not out of anger, or  a budding desire to go into the Slasher-Film Voiceover industry, just because she COULD. Her vocal cords got to enjoy several bursts at full potential, and the more she screamed, the happier it made her.

Trick #2 Eating Naan.

Angry Baby lurves naan, y’all. For those of you who don’t know what naan is, allow me to stop being pretentious by throwing Indian pastry names out there, and explain: naan is an Indian flatbread, think really thick flour tortilla. They make the naan hot n fresh where we went yesterday, and Angry Baby LOVED sucking every last bit of butter she could out of it. Watching that kid enjoy the least healthy thing(butter) the healthy establishment had to offer, brought a tear to my eye. She’s a real nacho-chip off the ol’ cheese block!

Trick #3 Screaming and throwing Naan.

A combination of the two, SURPRISE MAMA! How DARE you try to eat lunch and stop paying attention to me!

It’s at this point, my dear friend Jem, a single MOMGYVER of a 5-year-old heartbreaker, dropped some knowledge on me.

“You know, I’ll bet one of those fresh fruit mesh munchers would be PERFECT for her right now, she could be entertained and have something fun to teethe on.”

Real Talk: I’m only 8 months into this mom business, and the Rooster is just getting started on her path to parenthood so naturally, we had no flipping idea what she was talking about.

Jem then went on to explain this miraculous device they sold at target and in grocery stores…”you fill this tiny mesh bag with fresh fruit, and it locks in and attaches to a ring. It’s like a fresh fruit pacifier, kiddo is allowed to suck on various fresh fruits, without the fear of choking on seeds, pulp or other fruit shrapnel hazards.”

After we left the torture rack aka any public place where your child is throwing a MAD FIT and you’re  stuck waiting on the check…We said our goodbyes, and headed to the nearest grocery store! True story: Angry Baby gave Jem a hug & kiss, outta nowhere!

 The Rooster and I couldn’t fathom such a contraption. We didn’t know what we were looking for to be exact, but Jem’s assurance that “every place sells them,” gave us the faith we needed for our quest.

And there, on aisle 17, it was. We found it!!! The official name is a “Fresh Fruit Feeder” I bought 2. Though I’m still trying to come up with a zippier name for this wonder.

So far, Angry Baby is diggin’ it and  still getting the hang of it, and if I know my little butter sucker, the watermelon I just put in it is gonna be dust in no time!

Here’s to Mom’s giving each other NINJA TIP AND TRICKS, and helping a sister out!

Tip o’ the Stetson to ya Jem!

Tip o' the Stetson to you, pretty filly!

HAY MOMGYVERS: What can YOU give us to chew on?

Why don’t YOU dig deep down in your swiss army diaper bag and send us YOUR Ninja tips? Angry Baby is waiting to just chomp right through them!!!

Fun Fact: When I told Jem her MOMGYVER Ninja tip would be UP IN LIGHTS on this fine establishment of fart jokes, she yelled across the parking lot: “Make sure you put up a Picture of Liza Minnelli for me!”

This one’s for YOU Jem!!!!!!!


And just because…


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *