Friends (not the 90’s sitcom)

To Friends! (It's NEVER too early for champagne!)

Friends without children keep me in the “real world,” they remind me of the person I am, was and will always be independent of my Angry Baby. They are also are the litmus as to what is HORRIBLE.

Example: I am accustomed to being vomited on MULTIPLE times a day, AB was blessed with Acid Reflux. Because of this, she didn’t just “spit-up” every meal, she HORKED EVERY MEAL. Here’s the puke play by-play: At least 1 time during, 2 times post and 1-2 times between meals. As you can see by her photos, she held down enough of what we’re throwing at her!

 After the reality of being a human frat house floor sets in, you get used to it. The depression or even humiliation you might feel lifts and you just go on with it.

NON PARENT TAKE AWAY:

If you are a not a parent, this example has you most likely looking for a basket to “spit-up” in yourself. IT’S UNACCEPTABLE!! My basic right as a human is not to get puked on multiple times. Crib Keeper, start using a hazmat suit for crissakes! Non-parents act properly shocked and scandalized, you give us pity, support, advice and are the ONLY REASON I have stayed tethered to non-infant reality.

PARENT TAKEAWAY:

Spit happens!

Parent Friends: I know what you’re going to say here, “been there, done that.” Your steely resolves also keep me grounded. When times get crazay as they often do, it’s your experience new parents seek, need and get. Make no mistake, your ability to brush the horrible stuff off and press on is just as important.

Friends, once you have a kid, become even more precious and key to keeping your sanity.  If you are reading this, I just want to say thanks. Even if you don’t know (or HATE!) me, you are most likely friends with someone who is LUCKY ENOUGH to have their own ANGRY BABY. If you are, trust me when I say this: YOU RULE! KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK, and THANK YOU!!!!


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