Calgon, take me awaaaay! AKA Have shower, will travel.

I have no idea who YOU are, I'm on showercation!

This is my first cold since I was pregnant. What I really mean, is this is my first cold in over a year that I can take REAL COLD MEDICINE for!!!!!

Ladies havin’ babies or chest-feedin’ I’m sorry you can’t take cold meds. Everyone else, DAY/NIGHT QUIL is the JAM! Oh my goodness once it gets going, I feel SWEET RELIEF!

I was meditating on medication while I was on my SHOWERCATION this morning. Showercation? Huh!? Crib Keeper, the Cold meds have gone to your heds.

For those of you unaware of WHAT I am talking about, a showercation is the vacation you get from parenting while in the shower.

Let me clarify, not every SHOWER is a SHOWERCATION. For it to be a true showercation, there needs to be SOMEONE else watching the bambino OR you need a snoozing tyke that won’t wake up in the next say, 30 minutes.

Once that is secured, turn the water up HIGH and on HOT. Luxuriate in the steam and soapy goodness of your tropical showercation. Feel the stress, grime and baby vomit wash down the drain. If you’re suffering from a cold, this is also the time you want to hork, cough, and hack your way through the nasty.

As the water heals you much like a vacation in the Caymans, reflect on how AWESOME you are, and how AWESOME life is outside that curtain. If you have a personal mantra or themesong, celebrate landing back home from your showercation by singing, humming, or chanting said song or mantra.

A showercation is pennies where a  vacation is thousands, a showercation requires no packing, and gratuitous nudity IS involved (unless you shower in your swimsuit, Ned Flanders.)

Real Talk: Showercations have been saving me since day #2 home with Angry Baby.

Even Real-er Talk: It is the ONLY thing that got me going this morning.

Between the FREEZING cold I keep my house and the full body punch of this cold. The TWO colds were keeping me down at 6am. I didn’t know how I could face a day feeling so grody. But I scraped myself out of bed, like a skanky barnacle, and shimmied on over to the poop deck, where I had my SHOWER OF POWER.

Thank you to my sleeping little butterbean, and thank  ME for booking that last-minute getaway to the beautiful  beaches  tiles of the Steamin’ Islands.

See you on the tiles beaches! No, not really you sicko! And PS: Put on a towel or something, we’re trying to EAT breakfast here.

I KNOW this nerd isn’t trying to take away her MOMENT OF LUXURY!

Take me awaaaay!

“If he doesn’t feel the difference, he has no feelings…” LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL


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