Does the Library of Congress have a copy of this?

Better than Ulysses!

In honor of my sister, who I often refer to (jokingly) as “A young Burt Reynolds,” I bring to you excerpts from the GREATEST BOOK EVER WRITTEN BY BURT REYNOLDS!!!!

 “HOT LINE: The Letters I Get and Write!”

I have only one question after finishing and reading these LINES OF ART(!) Why is this not a REQUIRED read for schools? I can hear all of you rushing out to your local purveyor of tattoos and getting these STRANDS OF GOLD written on your bodies. Read below to see what makes Shakespeare look like a day old donut(I’d still eat it!)…

Real Talk: Smeared in Altoona’s letter and response almost made me puke up my rye and toona (crowd groans: What is this, Vaudeville!?)

More Real Talk: The 70’s style key party grime of a vibe I’m getting from reading these excerpts is making my skin itch.

 

(buzzfeed is to blame for your eyeballs hurting right now!)


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