TEEF TERROR 2011: Lunch BITE

I’m taking this Teething Tyrant (STAR of “TEEF TERROR 2011”) and heading to lunch with a gal pal, we’ll call her Chi-Town.

Should be interesting as 1. Angry Baby is YELLING FOR NO GOOD DANG REASON today. 2. This is one of my cool friends. (AKA nary a dollop of baby vomit has brushed her porcelain skin.) 3. The last time she saw Angry Baby and tried to hold(!) her, Angry Baby nearly burst a blood-vessel hatin’ on her.

Because of the circumstances, when she asked me where we were meeting (she hates choosing,) I said: McDonald’s at 11:30 am.

Here’s why:

1. It’s early enough to beat the lunch rush.

2. Fast food makes for a fast escape (in the event of a POTENTIAL AT ANY MOMENT MELTDOWN.)

3. With this TEEF TERROR FREAKSHOW I’m living, there is NO WAY I’m going to waste good $$ on a lunch that will most likely end in disaster. If I went to a REAL restaurant I would be stressed the whole time anyway, because I’m such a GIVING SOUL and I wouldn’t want to embarrass myself with a screaming baby horking at Chilis I choose to stay away on these screamy, Teef-tastic days. YOU’RE WELCOME!

Those of you turning your nose up at McSalt Lardy D’s, can it (with preservatives.) They have salads! At least I remember someone on my spring break choir trip in 1996, ordering one.

Wish me luck, love and a sleeping baby!

GODSPEED YOUNG BRAVE ADVENTURER!

(for the filet-o-fish)


Comments

TEEF TERROR 2011: Lunch BITE — 2 Comments

  1. When my oldest son was about 2 (the terrible 2’s) we went to eat at marios. I asked if they could seat us in a far away dark corner somewhere so Solon wouldn’t disturb anyone. Another group asked the same thing. We enjoyed eating in a back room and our kids were bad together. You’re not alone.

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